How to make dating not suck (w/ Logan Ury)

How to Be a Better Human

TED

Self-improvement, Education

4.2 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 2 December 2024

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s natural to romanticize the random meet-cutes we’ve all seen in romantic comedies, but is hoping for a chance encounter with the next great love of your life the best way to find them? Behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury believes in dating with practicality and intention. Logan joins Chris to share actionable tips on where and how to meet people, making the best of first dates, and how to know when you have found the right person. Whether you’re in your 20s or your 70s, Logan’s well-researched tactics will give you hope of finding a stable long-term relationship. Her book, How to Not Die Alone, is out now.

Transcript

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0:00.0	TED Audio Collective.
0:09.4	You're listening to How to Be a Better Human.
0:12.1	I'm your host, Chris Duffy.
0:13.8	When it comes to dating in love, I am unbelievably clueless.
0:18.1	That's not because I've had bad luck, actually.
0:20.9	In fact, it's kind of the opposite.
0:22.9	My wife and I started dating in college, and while it wasn't my plan or hers for us to find a spouse while we were still teenagers,
0:30.8	it basically just happened that way.
0:32.6	We never broke up.
0:34.0	So as a result, I've got nothing to offer when friends ask for dating advice. I'm like,
0:39.4	have you tried living in a nearby dormitory? Or what if you just never broke up with the person
0:44.8	who you were dating last? That's not very helpful advice. Luckily, though, after today, I am
0:50.7	going to be able to send them this episode, which has so many more helpful and practical
0:55.5	tips. And that is because today's guest, Logan Yuri, is a dating expert. She's the author of
1:01.4	How to Not Die Alone, the surprising science that will help you find love, and she's the dating
1:06.2	coach on the new Netflix show The Later Dators, which follows singles in their 50s, 60s, and 70s as they seek out love and companionship.
1:14.4	I think that as you listen to Logan, you're going to find, like I did, that whatever age you are and whatever your current relationship status is,
1:21.4	she has some really interesting and new perspectives on relationships and dating and romance.
1:26.6	Here's a clip. People are so hard on
1:28.9	themselves around dating, but the truth is that we're born knowing how to love, but we're not
1:34.3	born knowing how to date. And what that means is that dating is a skill and you can get better at it.
1:40.9	And so for someone out there who feels like, I'm alone and I have been for a long
	...

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