The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey guys welcome back to We Metadakme. I am nervous, excited, feeling exposed about this episode.

I'm talking about a subject that I know that I'm not the only one dealing with but it still is scary to talk about and that subject is the identity crisis slash career crisis that you go through postpartum.

It's inevitable and you know if you haven't gone through it then like you know, I'm not trying to foist it upon you.

Hoisted upon you, I don't know guys.

My brain is fried.

I'm coming off of two and a half weeks of no child care, and it's been really tough. We had a nanny that we liked or thought we liked. You know,

as first-time parents, I'm learning that you don't know shit and you get taken advantage of every

step of the way.

It's like when you're a bride and everyone's like, oh you're a bride, it's actually double

the price. That's how I feel as a first-time mom constantly and we had

this nanny and you know what I don't know clearly now she was I know she wasn't a good

nanny but up until then I was like my son giggles with her you know like he

seems happy she sends us photos and she ended up going MIA on us. She texted us Saturday of Labor Day weekend saying

she had a family emergency in the Philippines. She's Filipino but she actually doesn't have any family in the Philippines. She's Filipino, but she actually doesn't have any family in the Philippines. I have just this women's intuition. I'm not even going to call it a motherly intuition. I was like, this is this is it, you know, like I don't, I'm not going to, you know, say that I don't believe that she had a family emergency, but what I knew then and there was that, you know, she wasn't coming back.

And my, you know, my horrors came true. She turned out when we got home she had like hidden her key to our

apartment in the stroller and Zachary stroller in like a secret compartment so she had

planned this she knew she wasn't coming back and of course you know Stephen and I were beside ourselves

there were literally five stages of grief that we went through and honestly like I don't even know

off the top of my head what the five stages are but I know that I didn't go through them in the

right order and I'll tell you what they are,

because I feel like, you know, we need some contacts here.

It's denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

...