Is People-Pleasing Holding You Back?

HBR IdeaCast

Harvard Business Review

Leadership, Entrepreneurship, Communication, Marketing, Business, Business/management, Management, Business/marketing, Business/entrepreneurship, Innovation, Hbr, Strategy, Economics, Finance, Teams, Harvard

4.4 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2024

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There's a fine line between pitching in to help your team and taking on too much at the expense of your mental health and performance. Author and coach Hailey Magee walks us through why some of us fall into people-pleasing patterns, the negative impact it can have on our careers, and how to stop. She also offers advice for managers on how to help employees identify and break out of these bad habits. Magee is the author of Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the H-Byr idea cast from Harvard Business Review. I'm Allison Beard. How often do you want to speak up and disagree with a colleague but stop yourself?
0:27.0	Take on an annoying task for your boss even though you're maxed out and see no upside in doing it?
0:32.0	Agree to go out for lunch or happy hour when you upside in doing it?
0:32.6	Agree to go out for lunch or happy hour when you'd rather keep working or go home?
0:37.3	If the answer to some or all of these questions is a lot, you might just be a people
0:42.2	pleaser.
0:43.0	In the workplace, there's a fine line between being the standout employee who helps the team,
0:48.0	volunteers for assignments, socializes and gets ahead,
0:51.0	and the one who says yes to everyone and everything even when it's burning
0:55.7	them out or damaging their reputation. Today's guest is here to explain what
1:00.2	people-pleasing at work looks like, why it doesn't serve us well, and most importantly
1:05.0	how to navigate away from it without hurting our careers.
1:08.7	Haley McGee is a certified life coach, an author of the book, Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power.
1:14.7	She joins me now.
1:15.7	Haley, welcome.
1:16.7	Hi, Allison.
1:17.7	Thanks so much for having me. I'd love to start with your definition of people pleaser.
1:32.6	What does it mean to you?
1:34.5	So in the book I define people pleasing
1:36.6	as the act of putting others needs, feelings,
1:40.8	wants and dreams first at the expense of your own needs, feelings, wants and dreams.
1:49.4	So it's not just being kind and generous, but it's sacrificing yourself in the process of doing so.
	...

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