I'm Charlotte Crosby and this is Values and Vibrators, a podcast exploring everything from life goals to broken buttholes.

Hosted by me, Charlotte Crosby, do I have a treat for you a day?

In this episode, I'm going to be talking about you.

Well, more like what you all think about me.

It's going to be a goody, because I have asked over Instagram what your assumptions are about me and you have delivered.

Now, I've not read any of these.

I've had my producers Rich and Elise go

through them and pick out some of the best ones. When me and Liam first met, what was like

bang, bang, bang, bang. Every bloody morning when I had a drink, I wake up soaked. If we want

to have sex with someone, we will go out, take a condom with us and ride that

dick.

Or in my case, lie there like a sack of potatoes.

So if I had to guess what you guys would be assuming about me, it's probably going to be

I'm a sex maniac. All I do is get drunk and wet the bed. I mean, you lot are quite

predictable at times, but I'm hoping you've thought outside the box and I've got some really interesting ones

because I've done these a couple of times and sometimes it's just too predictable but I've got

faith I've got faith I think this one is going to be the best one yet so let's get right

into it so you're a million air.

Okay, right.

This is a hard hitting one to start with.

I have never, ever, ever had a million pound sat in my bank account.

But I suppose on paper, with all of my assets, like my house, my cars, oh, I've got another house as well,

...