Is Your Ex Keeping You From Finding Real Love? 5 Hidden Signs You Are Missing

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

iHeartPodcasts

Health & Fitness, Business, Mental Health

4.8 • 28.5K Ratings

🗓️ 18 April 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you ever feel stuck in the same dating patterns?

Do you think your past relationship is still affecting you?

Today, Jay unpacks the powerful and often hidden influence our past relationships have on our current dating pattern. Drawing from psychological research and personal reflection, Jay explores the concept of repetition compulsion—the unconscious tendency to recreate emotional patterns from our past, especially in romantic relationships. He reveals how our early attachments, particularly those with our parents and first loves, shape the way we love, what we fear, and even who we are drawn to.

With compassion and clarity, Jay outlines the five key signs that your ex—or more accurately, your past relationship wounds—might still be holding the steering wheel in your current dating life. He then re-introduces the attachment theory, helping them identify their own attachment styles—whether anxious, avoidant, or secure—and how these styles play out in their romantic behaviors. His message is clear: you are not broken, you are patterned—and patterns can be changed.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Recognize When Your Past Is Sabotaging Your Love Life

How to Break the Cycle of Repeating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

How to Tell the Difference Between Familiarity and Safety

How to Avoid Self-Sabotaging Healthy Relationships

How to Reparent Yourself and Meet Your Own Emotional Needs

This episode is both a compassionate wake-up call and a hopeful guide for anyone seeking to build healthier, more fulfilling love. Whether you're recovering from a breakup or simply ready to stop repeating the past, this is the episode that could shift everything.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there!

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:16 How Past Relationships Shape Your Dating Future

02:39 We Recreate Familiar Emotional Patterns In New Relationships

09:18 Five Signs Your Past Relationship Is Affecting You

12:09 What Are The Different Types Of Attachment Styles?

22:35 The Path To Earned Security

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin of the King to Third, and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King,
0:05.8	and our dear friends Mark and Craig Kilberger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives.
0:12.5	Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David O'Yello-O, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter.
0:22.0	Listen to My Legacy on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0:27.1	This is My Legacy.
0:31.5	Hey, everyone, it's Jay Shetty, and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour.
0:36.3	For the first time ever, you can experience on purpose in person.
0:41.0	Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests.
0:47.2	It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert or a CEO or business leader.
0:52.1	We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
0:55.5	spark learning and build real connections. I can't wait to meet you. There are a limited
1:00.7	number of VIP experiences for a private Q&A, intimate meditation, and a meet and greet
1:06.8	with photos. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jshedy.me forward slash tour and get yours today.
1:15.8	You're not being held back from finding real love because of who you're going out with. You're being
1:21.0	held back by people you already went out with. And how crazy is it to think that your ex is still in
1:27.1	control of your life?
1:28.3	Your ex is still impacting your life.
1:31.4	I know none of us want to be in that situation.
1:34.6	The number one health and wellness podcast.
1:37.3	Jay Shetty.
1:38.1	Jay Shetty.
1:38.8	He won, the only.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 17 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.