It’s Not You, It’s Your Avoidant Partner ft. Chris Rackliffe

We Met At Acme

Dear Media, Lindsey Metselaar

Education, Society & Culture, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.2 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2022

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On today’s episode, I virtually sit down (again!) with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment style coach. We discuss the telltale signs that you're in an anxious-avoidant dynamic, how to make an anxious-avoidant relationship work, how someone with an avoidant attachment style can learn to open up, learning to appreciate periods of both space and closeness in your relationship, busting the myth that attachment styles are gender-specific, examples of anxious-avoidant couples in pop culture, and more! This episode starts with a solo where I discuss how to be confident walking away when it's not working, rules for holidays for every phase of dating, how to figure out what ring you want, our new apt, how to prepare yourself for a break up while you are living with someone, and how to reignite a desire to date when you've been taking a break.

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Produced by Dear Media.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a deer media production.
0:06.5	Hey guys, welcome back to We Men at Acme. I hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving last week.
0:12.8	And I'm very excited for today's episode with Chris. You might recognize him because he has been on
0:19.0	the show before. We were all talking all about anxious attachment. Today we were talking about
0:24.3	avoidant attachment, which you might be like, oh, that sounds like my ex. Well, yeah, same.
0:33.0	Basically, all of us have dated somebody who has avoided an attachment. I actually did a poll
0:37.2	question and it was like over 60% of people have. So I think this will be a very illuminating
0:43.0	episode for you guys to hear kind of what that's like, how to navigate that. It's not like an end
0:49.6	all like it's not it's not the end of the world. If you are dating someone avoidant, you just have
0:54.7	to know how to navigate it. So I hope this is helpful for that. Also, you're listening to this
1:00.8	on the day that I do my Chicago show. I'm so excited. If you got tickets, I cannot wait to see you. I
1:08.9	hope that everyone's having a great Sunday or Monday or Tuesday or whenever you are listening to
1:13.7	this. I'm going to get into some of your questions and then we'll get right into Chris. Someone asked
1:19.0	how to be confident walking away when it's not working. It's so hard. It's definitely not easy.
1:28.4	I think I will say it's easier than the opposite when they want to walk away. But it's very
1:34.6	possible that you're both on the same page. If you're feeling this, I think you know it's not
1:38.9	working. You can't lie to yourself. If you do, you actually physically have like symptoms of it.
1:45.2	Like I remember in my last, you know, in a past relationship, I was like in chronic neck pain.
1:53.8	And just chronic chronic pain because I was holding on to all of these thoughts and feelings
1:59.8	about wanting to end this relationship and I just wasn't doing it. And I wasn't and part of that
2:06.8	was because I didn't have the confidence in a lot of ways. And part of that was because I didn't
2:11.6	want to hurt this person. But the reality as no matter how old you are, if you're 23, if you're 29,
	...

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