Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable, a wood health production with your hosts,

Billious Barb, Maverick Mark and Whistful Wade. This week, the three-fold

personable pals, Ponder Perfidious Paters and Miss Representing Maiders,

as they attempt to deflect the scrutiny of their striplains.

As... it's time for lies from parents.

Please prepare thy polygraphs and enjoy the show.

Welcome to Distractable, a wood health production. I am your host, Mark Edward Fishbock,

the glorious... Oh no, oh no! Has it been that long since you've won?

Or you forgot how this worked? It's okay, we don't say wood-off production anymore.

Are you fucking idiot? We can, we can. You were the one who was like, oh it's in the intro now, you know.

I said it wasn't, you can't say brought to you by wood health, because that makes it seem like

a response-er-d-by wood health. Sure. It's different. Wade, I feel your pain. Thank you.

I also feel my pain. I am the host, which means that I am the judge for this episode.

I won last time. I won. I was the winner, which means I get to judge these two boys' lovely stories.

Whatever they bring to the table, we will discuss, and we will talk about, based on the topic that I choose.

I'm joined by the illustrious Bob Meiskins.

That's me. This is my boys. Yes. I'm good. I'm also joined. I'm good. Do you want to expand on that?

Yes, I was doing it, but they didn't give me a chance to answer. I was just keeping it short.

There's been no foreplay in this episode. We're going straight to the finish.

It's not to the same extent. No, carry on. Go ahead. I'm good. All right, cool.

I'm also joined by the Magnanimous, Wade Barnes. Hey, I'm also here. Yes. You don't know what that word means.

Magnanimous. Is that what the G?

...