And when a plant is wilting, where do we put the water? In the soil. Not on the plant. When a plant needs fertilizer, where does it go? In the soil? And it's the same thing with our heart and our mind. When our thoughts are difficult, struggling, repetitive, we need to tap into how we feel what emotion is watering those thoughts. And how do I deal with what that emotional pain is telling me I need?

Because when the need gets met, then we're going to be okay.

Well, folks, the doctor is in.

Please welcome with me, trauma therapist, mental health expert health expert minister and author of new book

the garden within dr anita phillips to the jesus over everything show welcome dr anita

thank you happy to be here love the title of this show jesus over everything i love it oh well

thank you so much i've often said it's not a sound bite, not a bumper sticker. It is, it's not at least a whittle idea either, as you know. So I'm so thrilled to have you here. Whole grown woman of 50. And welcome to the 50s, my friend. It's a good place. I'm telling you, I love being in my 50s. I love whole grown women. We've earned it. And I feel better than ever. I'll say that. So welcome to it. I do. I feel great. I didn't, you know, when we were 30, this sounded like the end of the road. Yeah. Well, I want to talk a minute about aging, actually, if you will allow me to do that. I just did a show myself on the difference between self-care and

self-obsessed. And I think that self-care has been one of those things that the church has been

really weird about. And so I want to know what are your thoughts about self-care because I know

that you have some great wisdom for us. So just

tell me what you think about that for just a minute, if you would. Yeah, I believe everything that we

need to know about how to take care of ourselves, we learn from gardens. And so when we were

placed in a garden and commanded to dress and keep it, that is something that we need to do in the

garden of our hearts. We are paying attention to what's happening there. We want to make sure to guard it. That is something that we need to do in the garden of our hearts. We are

paying attention to what's happening there. We want to make sure to guard it. We want to make sure

to cultivate it well. But we don't do it alone. There were two people placed in there. And so I

think we overlook the role of relationship and self-care. I think that the church has struggled with

completely rejecting it like you're supposed to put others before yourself. And I think that the church has struggled with completely rejecting it like you're

supposed to put others before yourself. And I think that, for lack of a better word, the world

outside of church culture has over-emphasized the self part. So nobody's well. It's one extreme

or the other. But self-care so much includes cultivating healthy relationships and being able to lean into those relationships

when we need to be renewed and refreshed. And so I encourage people to really start there.

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