Hi, no, no, you do it, you do it, you do it.

Hi and welcome to Everything is Fine, a podcast for Women Over 40.

We are your hosts, I'm Kim France and I'm Jen Ramalini. And Jen we have such a good episode today with Emily Gold. We have such a good episode with Emily Gold. I've really wanted to talk to Emily Gold. We've wanted to talk to Emily Gold. I really wanted to talk to Emily

we've wanted to talk to Emily for a long time but then she was not over 40 and

our rule is only women over 40 so now she is over 40 so she can talk to us. Yeah, it's funny. She wrote a big essay about sort of losing the thread of her life and about considering divorce and all kinds.

I mean it's just a sprawling.

I thought that was one of the best things I'd read in a really long time,

her essay in New York magazine.

But, yep.

But this is not what I want to ask you about. What I want to ask you about is your

trip to the Grand Canyon. My trip to the Grand Canyon was fine. It was good. It was

good. Like I will say the Grand Canyon is fucking grand and like it is a moment like I was very

moved by the Grand Canyon even like even though you know every sort of step getting up to the Grand Canyon is like, you know, you spend $70 on this thing and here's another thing you have to do and you know, whatever, and you're sort of corralled and like I went to the west rim which is the less frequently

less frequently visited rim but I got up to it and I was like okay I get it like there's photos can't capture this

this is incredible I can't believe this exists and I had like a very a very moving moment and then

we stayed at like a cowboy ranch that night which was actually amazing like there was like a there was a cowboy who sang songs around the campfire and that should be totally corny and it was not. It was lovely. It was a delight.

I can see where that would be a delight. But generally I think this month I had been trying to trick myself, which I think we all do,

into thinking that the self-care things I have in place to keep me from sort of teetering over the edge or losing the

thread that I didn't need them.

Like you know you get into a stable place and you're like ah what the fuck I don't need

meditation I don't need you know X thing I don't need this level of sobriety that I've been trying out and I got back from that trip and I was like oh shit like I at my mental health is like I can feel that it's teetering so I've started like I've started

meditating again I'm just getting more sleep you know cutting out the weed not drinking like just had to like have a fucking full reset again,

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