Lust vs Desire: What's the Difference? | Ep. 613

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Marriage, Awesomemarriagepodcast, Marriagepodcast, Awesomemarriage, Marriageadvice, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Christianmarriage, Christianity

4.9 • 802 Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2024

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Does lust have a place in marriage? What sets it apart from sexual desire? Today we’re working through the reasons this question matters for your marriage, and how to have a marriage that glorifies God in every aspect, including how you steward your sexual desires.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

Defining the difference between lust and desire, biblically
The godly purposes for sexual desire in marriage
Specific reasons why misused sexual desire is destructive
How to maintain purity in marriage
Why porn affects your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t know you use it

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

“Lust is more about what you see, what you’re attracted to and what it can do for you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“In the Bible, it’s not like they lived in a Puritanical culture at that time. No, it was probably every bit as bad…we just access things in a different way now.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If we look at Scripture, lust was never mentioned in a positive light.” - Lindsay Few
“We won’t ever clear that bar, but he’s taken care of it through his life, death and resurrection, so there is grace and forgiveness.” - Lindsay Few
“The best sex is within the context of a Christian marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If it’s reduced to that ‘just get it over with’ kind of situation, whoa. Red flag. The goal is not just to satisfy the urge, the goal is mutual enjoyment, pleasure, connection and building of the marriage.” - Lindsay Few
“Vulnerability is uncomfortable, but it can lead you to prevent something a lot more painful.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

If your marriage has been damaged by porn, our free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar with Dr. Kim is a great first step toward healing
Our Marriage Undefiled Online Course with Matt Cline takes a deeper look at ways to heal and restore your marriage
Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
Getting Your Sex Life Off To A Great Start by Cliff & Joyce Penner
The Gift of Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner
The Best Way to Affair Proof Your Marriage (Past Episode)
Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage.
0:09.9	I am your podcast producer and co-host, Lindsay Few.
0:13.4	On the show will be our host, Dr. Kim Kimberly.
0:17.0	Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. His passion is to help you
0:23.4	strengthen your most intimate relationship. What is the difference between lust and desire?
0:31.5	Is it okay to lust in marriage and why or why not? Today we're talking about the difference between the two and how to handle desires in a
0:40.2	holy and healthy way in your marriage and desire.
0:43.7	So Dr. Kim, let's start by defining the terms.
0:47.6	What is lust?
0:49.0	Well, I think lust is really more focused on the physical, the sexual attraction,
0:53.4	about getting your needs
0:55.3	satisfied, your urges that you have, not really having an emotional connection with that
1:03.0	other person or have deep feelings about that person.
1:06.6	And it's usually something that's temporary, it comes and goes, so it doesn't last.
1:10.8	So I think it's really more about what you see, what you're attracted to, and what can it do for you.
1:18.9	Mm-hmm.
1:19.8	And that part at that point.
1:22.2	Mm-hmm.
1:22.6	So it's more of a taking.
1:26.3	Yeah.
1:26.8	Yeah.
1:27.1	I think that's a really good way to say because usually if you just think about lust in
	...

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