I'm Alan Alder, and this is clear and vivid conversations about connecting and communicating.

Most people in their communication, be it planned or spontaneous, want to do it right.

And, you know, I've been doing this long enough for decades to say there is no right way to communicate. There might be better and

worse ways, but it's all about in the moment responding to what's needed. So I like to say it's

about connection over perfection. You know, the root of the word communication means to make common,

which means there's a connection, a shared experience. And if I'm in my head judging and evaluating,

trying to be perfect, whatever that is, it's harder for me to connect and to make common.

That's Matt Abrams. He's a lecturer at Stanford University's graduate school of

business, and he's also the host of the podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. And he's the author of a new book.

Think Faster, Talk Smarter, How to Speak Successfully, When You're Put on the Spot.

This is really fun to be talking with you about this,

because you're really into spontaneity.

And spontaneity, for me, in most of the things I do, is everything.

And you deal with it in this book, especially with regard to being called on unexpectedly to come up with

some kind of talk. And I think that we don't think very often about how often we're called on to do that.

And it surprises us every time it happens. What are all the ways that you were thinking of as you were writing this book?

Well, if you really think about it, most of our communication is spontaneous, right?

It's very rare that we actually do the plan and the practice when somebody asks you, how are you doing today?

Or you're in a class and the teacher asks, or your colleague says, you know, how do you think that meeting went?

Or you make a mistake and you have to correct it. So much of our communication is spontaneous.

And yet we never really learn or are taught how to do it well. We are just expected to do it.

If anybody gets any training, it's more formal. It's create the slides. It's

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