Murderer obsession, ethical dumping, and cheating therapists
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 19 February 2025
⏱️ 74 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 How can I care for my partner's past disconnection?
19:41 Local delicacies
29:33 Why do some people become obsessed with murderers?
37:48 Does therapy change friendships?
51:50 Is there a way to ethically dump a friend?
55:38 Should a therapist disclose if they've cheated?
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February 19, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | all right bob more emails to answer i'm hoping actually we might be able to get through all the |
| 0:05.9 | emails how many you got many then yes this email is from highest tier patron good old jocelyn g she says |
| 0:15.0 | hi kirk and bob how can i care for my spouse's grief while tending to my own shame for causing it oh |
| 0:20.7 | that's an interesting first question yeah when my from my spouse's grief while tending to my own shame for causing it. Oh. |
| 0:20.8 | That's an interesting first question. |
| 0:22.9 | Yeah. |
| 0:24.4 | When my spouse and I are connected and happy, he often pause, he often will pause to mourn |
| 0:30.6 | the moments when we are disconnected. |
| 0:32.6 | Interesting. |
| 0:33.6 | It is interesting. |
| 0:34.6 | So when they connect, he will pause and think, oh, it's been a while since we've, or remember |
| 0:40.9 | last week when we were disconnected, that makes me sad. |
| 0:43.8 | Huh. |
| 0:44.5 | I want to empathize with his grief because it's valid, but it also brings up a lot of shame |
| 0:50.3 | for me. |
| 0:51.2 | This shame ironically keeps me from truly being present with his grief. |
| 0:56.7 | For example, I might think to myself, why can't you just be connected and happy all the time |
| 1:01.6 | when he expresses sadness about the times we struggle as a couple because of me? |
| 1:06.4 | Our struggles as a couple are often due to my being in recovery for borderline personality |
| 1:11.3 | disorder and how crazy making the cycles of valuation devaluation can make our relationship |
| 1:17.0 | feel for us at times. |
| 1:18.8 | I really feel for him and I also feel for myself. |
... |
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