Notes from therapy - Interdependence vs. Codependence.

Enneagram & Coffee

Cloud10

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Relationships, Business, Education, Entrepreneurship

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2023

⏱️ 9 minutes

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Summary

I want to share my personal journey of self-regulation and the significance of co-regulation in my relationship with my husband. There was a time when I used to retreat into myself whenever I was triggered by childhood trauma. I have come to understand that emotions are neutral sensations that come and go. They are not something to be feared or suppressed. Instead, I have learned to feel them and let them flow through me. -- Thank you to this week’s podcast sponsor: Find your forever pieces at jenniekayne.com Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code EGRAM at checkout. Notion Templates here - www.sarajanecase.com/shop Enneagram Coffee here - https://www.summitcoffee.com/sarajanecasestore Call/text your enneagram questions to (828) 338-9127 Grab a copy of my books at www.thehonestenneagram.com & www.theenneagramletters.com Check out my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/sarajanecase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I am Sarah-Jane Case and this is Anya Graham and Coffee.
0:09.2	Hello friends, welcome back to Notes from Therapy where I share with you takeaways from my
0:15.2	personal therapy or other things that are pouring into my life at the moment. This episode is
0:20.0	inspired by a situation in my kitchen with my husband, so let's talk about co-regulation.
0:27.4	Now, I am someone who has a lot of childhood trauma. I've talked about this before, but if you're
0:32.6	new here, I, I have trauma and we all, you know, we all have some form of it. I have a lot of
0:38.2	childhood trauma, so of course I'm working on it, but sometimes often it gets triggered,
0:43.8	and I find myself in a triggered state. My pattern has been to go within myself. Like, I have a
0:50.5	shell, and I just kind of climb into my little shell, and I think my way through those feelings,
0:56.4	right? This has been most of my life. Like, I would get triggered, I would leave wherever I was,
1:02.9	go spend some time alone, recoup, recover, and then come back as if nothing had happened.
1:09.9	This was really supportive for me for a time, right? Like, being able to self-sue, being able to
1:15.6	take space, kind of care for myself in that moment, that was an amazing practice. Now, it wasn't until
1:22.5	I found the Anya Graham that I learned that I was thinking through those feelings. I was
1:26.3	actually feeling my feelings, and I learned eventually to start to allow the feelings to flow
1:33.7	through my body as energy. So I started seeing emotions as energy, both good energy and bad energy.
1:40.8	They all create some sensation, but seeing that sensation, not as a good thing or a bad thing,
1:46.2	but just as a sensation, like something that's happening in my body, and it will come, and it will
1:52.4	go, and it always moves through and passes. Versus, I come from point seven, right? Versus that,
1:59.2	like, desire to ignore, escape, run away from the negative emotions because of fear that I'll
2:05.3	get sucked under and never get out. I think one time I wrote about it as, like, dipping my toe into
2:10.9	the darkness and then just getting, like, sucked in, like, it's quicksand. That's how it's always
	...

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