Hey deserving listeners, today I'm going to answer patron emails.

This first email is from an anonymous patron and she writes,

seven years ago I became a mother to my amazing daughter

and of course it changed my life. I fell in love

with her instantly and for the first time in my life I felt an unconditional love I

had never felt before. I desperately wanted to give her what I never had, which was a happy

childhood. Thanks to Facebook parenting groups, I became aware of attachment parenting and I became really interested in

developmental psychology. I read everything I could get my hands on. I thought that if I

just educated myself enough I could become the perfect parent.

However, it is not that easy, of course.

As my daughter has become older, it has become increasingly difficult for me to give her what I never

had.

I feel like I am failing on a daily basis. I know what I'm

supposed to do. My husband and I are on the same page, fortunately. We don't use punishment or shaming we do listen to her my problem is that I am

just not always able to be the parent I want to be when I'm under stress and it

doesn't take much to push me over the edge and make me snap.

I want to be that warm stable presence for my daughter but it simply doesn't come

naturally to me. I am struggling to explain this. To make a long story short, I grew up with a lot of neglect and alcoholism. My parents separated when I was three and used me a lot against each other. My home life was very unstable.

Today I don't have a close relationship with either of my parents.

I want to break that cycle, but it's so hard. It's like I have an empty space inside where I was supposed to have that resource to pass on to my daughter.

I get so easily triggered and what comes out of my mouth are things like not right now or you're

getting in my way or please stop whining instead of the warm loving words I want to say to her, not every time but often.

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