Each time you're here, we, as it turns out, have said hello to the love of your life.

And it's never the same guy.

This time, it's for real.

This time.

I've never been happier.

This time.

But you say that each time.

Oh, this is a good guy. Hello and welcome back for another episode of La Do You Remember This, where we look back on all the Hollywood stories of the early aughts,

a time in history when America found out that with a trust fund, a sex tape, and a dream,

you too could become a star. As always, I'm your host, Dara Lane. This is the third installment

of our Paris Hilton mini-series and part due of last

week's episode about Paris's many love affairs. In part one, we covered her previous boyfriends

Randy Spelling, Rick Solomon, Jason Shaw, and Nick Carter. The relationship with Randy

was brief, and her year and a half with Jason seemed to be relatively

normal.

But in terms of her relationships with Nick and Rick or Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Dicker, Paris

begins a bad pattern of dating bad men.

I do wonder if Paris really has any idea how bad these men actually are or how men are supposed to behave.

I think Paris grew up in a sort of high society where she saw women who married men for their money,

and in return for being taken care of, the men got to treat their wives however they wanted.

She grew up alongside entitled little boys like Brandon Davis, who without consequence got to

swing their dicks around, figuratively and probably literally, because greasy bear totally

...