Welcome one and all in here, out there to The Late Show.

I'm your host Stephen Colbert.

Folks, you hear that?

You hear that?

That is the sound of people who have been liberated.

Because thanks to Donald Trump, America is finally free from the tyranny of being able to buy stuff from other countries.

Who's ready to learn how to make their own iPad from scratch?

Why should those kids have all the fun?

You know, for a guy who's been touting tariffs for months,

seems like this all came together at the last minute, reportedly,

Trump was still weighing tariff options until late yesterday.

Now, if you're not steeped in the wonky language of Beltway insiders,

that basically means they were spitballing ideas through the bathroom door at 3 a.m.

Tell you what, what if Ireland has to pay extra

to be on the Lucky Charms box?

What about that?

I'm just spitballing here.

We stop Count Chalkula at the border.

After weeks of speculation, Trump announced a 10% tariff on all countries and additional

tariffs on some, like 34% tax on imports from China, 20% tax on imports from the European

Union, 25% on South Korea, 24% on Japan, 32% on Taiwan,

making these the most severe set of U.S. trade tariffs since 1930. Ah, yes, the 1930 smoot-holy

...