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Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Quickie w/ Yue: Sometimes Staying Together May Need Time Apart

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5877 Ratings

🗓️ 14 June 2024

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We've talked about Dating Sabbaticals but what about Relationship Sabbaticals? Yue is reflecting on the conversation we had with Mark Groves this week about the need to take an intentional pause and how this could serve her relationships – past, present, and future. If you've wondered before if you should stay or go, or when the relationship is worth fighting for, this one is for you! Related Episodes: The Key To Getting Back Together With Your Ex w/ Mark Groves Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview w/ iHeart Podcasts available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts. WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE is available for pre-order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Meeting People IRL Kickstarter - CLOSES August 31st and get $10 OFF now through then! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, you're here for a little quickie with me. Thanks for joining me. If you haven't

0:07.1

listened to our episode with Mark Groves, I would recommend that you listen to that first before you hop in on this

0:14.9

quickie with me simply because I think I just have so many thoughts after talking to

0:20.4

him much of what he said really resonated with me because it's what I've been trying to process for so long, especially in the realm of relationships and the complexities of staying in relationships, of knowing when to go and when to stay,

0:37.6

when to try harder, and when to know that you tried enough.

0:40.7

I grapple with this quite a bit because conventional wisdom says you should

0:46.0

fight for your relationship if you truly love someone should try everything

0:50.7

you can but this is why relationships are so complex just because you love

0:56.9

someone and have a history with someone. I also believe that sometimes relationships run its course and then it gets to this tipping point of when it starts being toxic or detrimental or when you get to a point where Mark Grove says when you start losing yourself.

1:15.0

So one thought that I was really gravitated towards was this idea of taking an intentional

1:21.6

break in a relationship.

1:23.6

And he and his wife, Kylie,

1:25.6

they were together for five years,

1:27.6

living together, going through the motions of a relationship,

1:30.8

but he constantly felt like she was turned away from him. Those were his words. Like I felt turned towards her and she always felt like her shoulders were turned away from me and they ultimately decided to break up. Now the plot

1:46.8

twist is they did get back together and now they're married with a kid but it's a

1:50.8

brand new relationship and in my mind I feel like that is how sometimes the story goes

1:58.8

but we don't talk about it we don't normalize this idea of what I'm going to call a relationship

2:04.9

sabbatical. And I've had a lot of friends and many of them have been on Datable who've talked

2:10.4

about their successful relationships,

2:12.6

their healthy marriages,

2:14.4

but the part they tend to skip

...

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