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Welcome to R slash today I effed up. We're R slash F's up by reading a story about the one thing

that really creeps me out. Today I effed up by

filing down my own front teeth. I'm an 18-year-old guy, and I was flossing my teeth yesterday

night and realized something. My front teeth are quite long, based on the ratio compared to the

ones next to them and my lips.

And they make my bottom teeth basically invisible when I smile, low-key like a horse.

My bite is good and my teeth are straight, so I figured all that needed to happen was to shorten them.

A Google search revealed that it costs around $50 to $300 each tooth to get them filed down a little.

I figured I could probably just do that myself. I have pretty bad insomnia and got maybe

eight hours of sleep this entire week so far. So maybe I'm not in the best state of mind.

But I needed to magically become vaguely more good looking. So I went on a search for a nail filer.

Oh, God, this is grossing me out. Oh, man, I don't even know I want to read this. The thought of, oh, the file, ugh.

Guys, when my wife files her nails, I have to leave the room. It really, I don't know why, it really grosses, it's not gross, it just makes me uncomfortable.

Kind of like nails on chalkboard, that type of sound.

Okay, okay, Dabney, okay, we can get through this.

I found one of those metal ones in the bathroom, tested it on a fingernail, and it works.

Oh, Jesus. So I aligned it with my front teeth both at once because I didn't want to be uneven.

...