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Picture a hash brown.

Yep.

There it is.

Right there.

Would you look at that? A golden oval of crispy deliciousness. From where? Well, you already know. Breakfast, done properly.

Serve until 11 a.m. Welcome to R slash today I effed up, where O.P. accidentally eats a bunch of baby spiders.

Today I effed up by trying to play my dad's didgeridoo.

So my dad has had this didgeridoo in the house since he visited his sister in Australia 10 years ago.

My parents wanted to go out for a walk, but I decided that I'd eaten too much cheese, and I couldn't be bothered.

While they were out, the internet went down, so I was sort of wandering around looking for something

to do when I spotted the didgeridoo. I thought to myself, in all these years, I've never actually

tried to play it. It's more of a decoration, and I barely take it in when I see it,

and maybe it's time. I pick it up and put it to my lips. I felt like I knew what I was doing,

and that it was similar to playing a trumpet and wanted to play a long, loud note. I take a sharp

inhale and immediately feel something hit the back of my throat. I sputter really hard and a small

white globular thing comes flying out and hits the floor. At first I thought that it was saliva and I

...