Every single year, as we are stretching our cotton spiderwebs across our stupes and

hanging our cheaply made ghouls, propping up our styrofoam graves, we are told by the

media by police and by politicians that an unspeakable evil lurks in the little house at the end of

each suburban street. An insidious character sitting in a dark living room under a single

dying light bulb tampering with the very Halloween candy the nation's naive children will soon

delight in. But as we'll see in today's re-release of our second episode ever, poison Halloween

candy is an urban or rather suburban legend that no matter how many times we try to poison to death,

just will not die. Right on schedule, this traditional outcry is yet again burning across social

media. Local news stations everywhere, as well as good morning America, newsweek and most

vocally, Fox News have been raking in the clicks and the views with that same sensational

combination of stranger danger panics, drug panics and immigration panics. By now, you've probably

heard some talk of Rainbow Fentanyl, an addictive and dangerous drug disguised as colorful little

candies by drug dealers who have, of course, recently crossed the southern border. And now here they

are, planting the seeds for a future generation of suburban opioid addicts. You know, really playing

the long game. But never fear, a group of Republican senators, including Kansas's Roger Marshall,

Florida's Rick Scott, Tennessee's Marsha Blackburn and Texas's John Cornyn have vowed to take

on this apparently widespread emergency. And wouldn't you know it? This Halloween nightmare

just so happens to be occurring eight days before the midterm elections. And this story works

really well with their staunch anti-immigration narrative and rhetoric, as well as their

tough on drugs and tough on crime, posturing. Just a few days ago, they released a super serious

video that summed up their concerns. Let's listen. Rainbow Fentanyl comes in a variety of bright

colors, shapes and sizes, including pills, powders and blocks that resemble sidewalk chalk.

...