Raising a Securely Attached Kid Isn't All On You

Big Time Adulting

Caitlin Murray

Personal Journals, Comedy, Society & Culture, Momlife, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.9 • 811 Ratings

🗓️ 25 October 2023

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Many of us struggle with the fact that one day our kids will grow up and not need us as much. They will inevitably blaze their own independent lives outside the warm cocoon of our arms. Caitlin welcomes Erin O’Connor to the podcast to discuss secure attachment and why it’s never too late to strengthen the bond we have with our kids. Erin is an academic wiz and a force to be reckoned with in the field of child development. She’s a professor and director of the New York University’s Early Childhood Education program. She holds a Doctorate in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard, a Masters in teaching from Fordham University, and a Masters in school psychology from Columbia University. She co-founded the scientificmommy community which is now called Your Cooper, a platform designed to bring together parents, teachers, and researchers around issues of child development. Erin is also co-host of the podcast Parenting Understood, which provides accessible information on parenting and development research.

In this episode, Erin talks about the ways parents can nurture positive relationships with their children, why it's never too late to strengthen that bond, and how it's not all on us to ensure they're securely attached because research shows that when a child develops a strong relationship with someone outside the immediate family, like a teacher, coach, or relative, it's a good predictor of their social-emotional health and academic success. Tune into this fascinating conversation as Erin weaves scientific research into Caitlin's burning questions about parenting and how to ensure our kids will want to come back to us as they test their independence out in the world.

Check out Your Cooper (an online parenting group reimagined)

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Transcript

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0:00.0	There's a lot of pressure as a parent to, you know, create these overall resilient, contented, fulfilled kids.
0:12.3	But there are also great parents out there that raise kids that don't necessarily reflect the fact that they had caring, loving, dedicated
0:24.4	parents and that that's also part of maybe the nature aspect of people, right? So things
0:32.4	shit can happen. It's like also not your fault. I don't know if it makes you feel better, it makes you feel
0:38.2	worse at times, but you know, you're far from the only influence on your child's life. And I have found
0:43.2	more and more in my own work is the importance of multiple attachment figure. So having a really
0:48.1	strong relationship with your teacher, let's say, for example, is a really strong predictor of children,
0:53.6	social, emotional, and even their
0:54.8	academic well-being when you look all the way through middle school. So this idea, you know,
0:59.8	it takes a village that that phrases you so much. Nobody knows what that fucking means, by the way.
1:04.6	Right.
1:22.4	Hi, everyone. Today we have an incredibly intimidatingly qualified guest on the podcast.
1:28.7	Erin O'Connor, who's here with me today, is the director of New York University's early childhood education program. She's a professor. She holds a doctorate in human development and psychology
1:34.3	from the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Ever heard of it? A master's in teaching from Fordham University
1:41.7	and a master's in school psychology from Columbia University.
1:48.0	What the fuck?
1:49.6	How have you even had time to do this in your life?
1:52.0	Erin works with teachers in New York City Schools and leads professional development seminars.
1:57.0	She's also co-founder of Scientific Mommy, which is now named York Cooper, and it brings together
2:02.9	parents, researchers, teachers around issues of childhood development. Now, Erin, hi. Hi. Hi. Thank you. That was a very
2:11.9	nice introduction. Well, I didn't say anything nice. I just stated the facts about your incredibly educated mind.
2:20.5	Well, I love school. I'd still be in school if my husband hadn't been like, okay, it's time.
	...

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