A topic that comes up between Bruce and I all the time is the message American culture

sends to boys about what it means to be a man.

It's a message that, for all the changes that have taken place in our society hasn't

really changed all that much since we were kids.

The emphasis on physical toughness and suppressing your feelings.

Having success defined mainly by what you own and your ability to dominate, rather than

on your ability to love and care for others.

The tendency to treat women as objects to possess rather than full-fledged partners

and fellow citizens.

The more we talked, the more obvious it became how these narrow, distorted ideas of masculinity

contributed to so many of the damaging trends we continue to see in the country.

Whether it's the growing inequality in our economy, or our complete unwillingness to compromise

on anything in our politics, and maybe Bruce and I realized, we're more attuned to these

issues because of the complicated relationships we both have had with our fathers.

That role models that we spent much of our lives coming to terms with.

You know, my dad was the kind of guy where I can remember one day, I brought him a video

camera.

I said, Dad, I want you to tell me the story of your life.

It lasted for five minutes.

And he said basically nothing.

He simply was an unknowable man, and I have to believe with a great pension for secrecy.

And I believe he got this from his father.

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