S6, Ep 2 Best Friend Therapy: Responsibility - Do we want it? Can we balance accountability and freedom? Who are we really responsible for?

Friendship Therapy

Emma Reed Turrell

Society & Culture, Relationships, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2023

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we’re looking at the theme of Responsibility, how we feel about it, and how its meaning might change for us over time.

Whether it begins with a badge on our blazers or a ticket to teenage independence, being given responsibility might not always be such a gift, when it later brings with it the added pressures of work, or the task of emotionally regulating the people we live alongside.

We suggest that it might be wiser to take responsibility in our lives, rather than be given it, and for our sense of duty to deliver on the values that lie within ourselves, rather than be employed to meet the needs of others.

We talk about the dangers of outsourcing responsibility to others and how gaslighting and toxic relationships can get set up, and we discuss the impact of an outdated and patriarchal sense of responsibility for others, when all we can ever usefully offer is a sense of responsibility to the people we care about.

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Elizabeth references the Changes podcast, hosted by Annie Macmanus, in which she interviews Zadie Smith: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/zadie-smith/id1465937091?i=1000626637952

And she generously crowbars in a reference to Emma’s new book, called “What Am I Missing: The Four Blind Spots that are Holding You Back, and How to Overcome Them” - out in April 2024 and available to pre-order now: https://amzn.eu/d/6yuHeXV

Oh, and she also takes us back to Aristotle, because she’s a historian at heart.

Emma shares her most wholesome of weekends and, should you find yourself in Hampshire and keen to become more “manipulate”, you too can check out the wonderful workshops hosted by @alicecrowe_ceramics, @nicepearceramics and @rushmerefarm.

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and
0:02.0	Welcome to Best Friend Therapy.
0:04.0	I'm Elizabeth Day, author and podcaster,
0:06.0	and for over 20 years,
0:08.0	I've been best friends with a therapist.
0:10.0	That's me.
0:11.0	Hello, I'm Emoryt Terrell and I'm a psychotherapist.
0:14.8	In my private practice I talk to clients about the challenges they face in daily life and we work together
0:19.4	in a non-judgmental supportive space to increase their sense of well-being.
0:23.0	And as her BFF, I get all the benefit of her expertise and wisdom for free.
0:28.0	Emma makes me feel better about life, but also helps me to understand why I act the way I do.
0:34.6	Oh, thanks Liz.
0:35.8	She's also one of the only people allowed to call me Liz.
0:39.2	We wanted to open the doors to our friendship and throw a light on the therapy we all need in our everyday lives.
0:45.9	Each week we chat about what's on our minds to get deeper in our minds.
0:50.4	Two best friends, one therapist, no filter.
0:54.0	That's best friend therapy.
0:57.0	Welcome to this week's episode of best friend therapy and today we thought we would talk to you about something very close to our hearts which is
1:04.9	Responsibility. Oh the word, the word, doesn't it just make our shoulders slump?
1:11.6	It does, it just makes me feel like I'm carrying a massive stone of
1:16.3	guilt on my back so welcome. Join us bring your stone and copper squat.
1:25.0	As Julia Roberts would say.
	...

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