Friendship Therapy

Welcome back to the last episode of Dial Emma for this season! You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, Emma hears from a listener who is navigating feelings of insecurity in her romantic relationship, which started as an affair with her boss and is now a complex dynamic with an ex-partner and children involved. In this episode, Emma explores how we can address feelings of insecurity constructively by acknowledging and validating our feelings and where they might be coming from, and communciating them openly. Are we fearful of being abandoned, or perhaps not being good enough? Are there feelings of guilt or mistrust at play, particularly in situations characterised by secretiveness or deceit? Emma also encourages listeners to set boundaries that feel respectful and safe and gives some tips on how to build on our sense of self worth and confidence from within. If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 27 December 2024

Welcome to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Katherine to talk about just how hard it can be sometimes to ask for help in friendships. Emma and Katherine talk about the specifics of how to get help that's actually helpful in the present, as well as Katherine's experience growing up as the youngest sibling with the smallest voice, and the impact that her parents' separation in her twenties had on her as an adult child of divorce. Emma also draws on Eric Byrne's transactional analysis parent adult child model to notice how Katherine has an abundance of critical parent around her, both within her friendships and in some of her family relationships too, but not so much of the nurturing parent that could offer genuine comfort, support and acceptance - and what it might take for Katherine to change some of those dynamics going forwards. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 23 December 2024

TW: loss, suicide Welcome back to this week's episode of Dial Emma! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what we did there?!) You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, we hear from a listener who tragically lost her husband when he took his own life, and is now navigating the loss of the friends that they shared in the wake of his death. In this episode, Emma challenges the societal expectation that friendships can only be joyful, fun, happy spaces, encouraging us all to have open, vulnerable conversations with our friends and evolve and adapt to support each other through loss. Emma also explores grief in all its complexity and the impact that it can have on friendships, especially when it comes to the emotional challenges of losing a loved one as a result of suicide. If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 20 December 2024

Welcome to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Elliot to talk about what it's like to be an, as he puts it, emotional male within male friendship groups. Elliot shares an experience that many of us might be able to relate to: being unceremoniously exited from a friendship group chat, with no real explanation or conversation beforehand.  In this episode, Emma and Elliot talk about why being a lone voice in the wilderness might feel lonely, but might also be necessary when it comes to blazing a trail towards greater emotional intimacy and permission to be authentic among a group of individuals who haven't necessarily been encouraged to be vulnerable. Emma and Elliot also chat about the difference between friends who are surface dwellers and the ones who are depth seekers, and how to avoid emotional bends when we're traveling between different water pressures. In fact, this episode makes a lot of references to the ocean, from Finding Nemo to treasure chests - so we encourage you to settle back on your Lilo and enjoy the conversation. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 16 December 2024

Welcome back to this week's episode of Dial Emma! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what we did there?!) You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, our Dial Emma voicenote comes from a listener who is navigating the feeling of having a platonic crush, or 'squish', on someone who they really want to experience friendship with.  In this episode, Emma digs deeper into how platonic crushes often stem from a deep desire for emotional connection and validation, and explores why cultivating emotional self sufficiency and self acceptance can help us to maintain healthier friendships with others. Emma also encourages our listener to acknowledge that not every friend will be able to provide the emotional closeness that we're looking for, but they are still a friend - and these friendships can exist harmoniously together. If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 13 December 2024

Welcome to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Sarah, who has been navigating feelings of loneliness and being an outsider in her friendship groups. In this conversation, Emma and Sarah explore what it means to fit in, what it's like when you don't get joy from the same things that your friends find enjoyable, or at least seem to, and whether what we're all really seeking is a U-shaped space that is made to measure and entirely ours to fill.  Emma and Sarah also talk about why learning about what we actually like can bring us a sense of relief, but it can also bring grief too. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 9 December 2024

TW: Miscarriage Welcome back to this week's episode of Dial Emma! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what we did there?!) You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, we hear from a listener who is dealing with complex emotions surrounding grief, in the context of recurrent miscarriage and its impact on friendships. In this episode, Emma explores the feelings of isolation, sadness and jealousy that might come up alongside the joy we feel for friends who are experiencing parenthood, encouraging our listener to set boundaries, communicate needs and seek support from friends and professionals. She also highlights the importance of self-compassion and allowing our friendships to deepen and evolve through shared experiences. If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 6 December 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which psychotherapist and author Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma meets Kelly, a smart, self-aware woman who's nearly 50, yet who finds herself stuck with some big feelings about a friendship that ended 18 months ago, when her friend of 17 years became her boss and the friendship fell apart.  In this episode, Emma introduces Kelly to the 'ambivalence seesaw', a tool we can use whenever we're feeling stuck to help us make a decision or find closure. Kelly comes to understand how her experiences growing up might have stacked the cards against her when it comes to certain friendships, and how her ability to manage upwards might make her the perfect deputy or number one number two - but it might not leave much room for her to succeed. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 2 December 2024

Welcome back to this week's episode of Dial Emma! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what we did there?!) You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, we're bringing you something a little different. We hear from a long-time friend and listener of the show, who shares her reflections on a previous episode of Friendship Therapy in which Emma and her 10-year-old daughter Elsa talked about childhood friendships. Emma follows up on some of the thoughts and feelings that she and Elsa explored in the episode, from understanding our children's unique lived experience and how it differs from our own, to building emotional resilience and regulation with our children. If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 29 November 2024

Welcome back to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendship through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Jo, a courageous woman who is on a painful but therapeutic journey towards healing from childhood trauma. We don't talk about what happened to Jo in this conversation. Instead, we talk about the devastation she felt when her best friend of 25 years announced that Jo had become too much for her, that she was all consumed by the events of the past, and that the friend was no longer able to connect with her. Since then, Jo and her friend have limped along with the occasional empty message or platitude, avoiding the elephant in the room that was their once deeply meaningful friendship, the warts and all friendship, the one who'd help you hide the body friendship. Through their conversation, Emma helps Jo to understand why she might not be the one to fix this problem. She comes to recognise why it might not be her problem to fix in the first place, and how years of people pleasing might have led her to prop up failing relationships instead of holding others accountable. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 25 November 2024

Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what we did there?!) You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it. This week, Emma hears from a listener who is navigating the loss of a beloved companion and friend: her cat, Minnie. In her voicenote, this caller describes how she has struggled to do life without Minnie and is now considering getting a new cat, but continues to grapple with feelings of guilt at the prospect of moving on while still grieving for her furry friend. In this episode, Emma explores the unique experience of loving and grieving a pet, and shares how the long-lasting, consistent bonds that we build with our animals allow us to access and nurture the parts of ourselves that we often ignore.    What advice would you give this listener? If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 22 November 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. To kick off season three, Emma chats to Poppy, who is struggling with a friendship dilemma that many of us can relate to. We've all been on the receiving end of a friend who has ditched us temporarily for a new relationship; perhaps we've been that friend who has, for a period of time, chosen to spend more time with a new partner than with our friendship group. But what happens when history seems to repeat itself over and over again? This week, Emma and Poppy talk about a particular friend who continuously chooses to drop her when the offer of a new relationship is on the horizon, and how that feels for Poppy. Using a Gestalt therapy technique, Emma takes Poppy through a therapy exercise live on the podcast to help her make sense of how a conversation with her friend might play out, and what the resolution might look like. Together, Emma and Poppy discover what Poppy's motivations in this friendship are, and why it might be more about feelings of fear, than feelings of frustration between the two of them. Find out more about Gestalt Therapy techniques: https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/gestalt-therapy-the-empty-chair-technique#:~:text=The%20Empty%20Chair%20Technique%20is,internal%20conflicts%20or%20unfinished%20business. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 18 November 2024

Hello, and welcome to season three of Friendship Therapy! This is the podcast in which author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapeutic lens. This week, a special bonus episode to kick off a new season: Emma chats to Michelle Elman, bestselling author, speaker and life coach whose fifth book, Bad Friend: Why Friendship Breakups Hurt and How to Heal, is due to be published in May 2025. Michelle joins Emma to talk about tolerance in friendship and explore why we can find it challenging to tolerate the decisions our friends make. When is it time to bite your tongue in friendship, and when does our silence make us complicit? Are we trying to save our friend, or is it really about saving a younger part of ourselves? Pre-order Michelle's book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bad-Friend-Friendship-Breakups-Hurt/dp/1408749459/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season 4, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 Voicenote Emma with your dilemma in the @friendshiptherapypod DMs. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 11 November 2024

Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy, and the season 2 finale! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, our Dial Emma caller wants to talk about accountability in friendship. Should we adjust our expectations when friends let us down, or should we hold them to higher standards? Why is there often less accountability in friendship compared to romantic relationships? In this episode, and in the absence of a friendship HR department, jury or ombudsman, Emma encourages this listener to ask a simple question that might open up a much more honest conversation: is it me that’s not okay, or is it this situation that is not okay? Emma also explores why accountability and deep connection are not always a given in friendship, and why we need to get curious about what we are willing to offer as a friend and, crucially, what we need from friendship.    What advice would you give this listener? We'll be back with season 3 very soon, so please keep sending in your dilemmas for Emma to respond to! Drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod. --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 4 October 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. So many of our wonderful guests talk about childhood friendships and how those early experiences shape the friendships that we'll make as adults - so who better to help us talk about the way those friendships form than someone who's in the middle of making them right now? This week, Emma chats to Elsa. She's 10 years old. She's an expert on childhood friendship. And she also happens to be Emma's daughter. Emma and Elsa talk about what makes a good friend, those times when 'magpying' is actually copying, how to deal with it when a friend hurts our feelings, and Emma's personal friendship nemesis, the group of three. Please do bear with us if the sound quality is slightly affected this week. Many sweets were consumed in the making of this episode. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season 3, please click the link below to fill out the form:  https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:  Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 30 September 2024

Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, we meet a listener who is grappling with feelings of guilt after moving away from their hometown - especially when the friends they left behind make comments about how little they get to see each other, and how they wish things could be different. We can all recognise that the feeling of guilt is only appropriate when we have done something objectively wrong, but how can we put this into practice in our relationships? How can we repair, when there was no wrong to begin with? How can we understand the difference between what we're choosing to hear, and what is actually being said? In this episode, Emma encourages this listener to get curious about their metric of friendship in order to find a way forward that meets their needs and that of their friends. Emma also explores some of the deeper emotions that might be hidden beneath the feeling of guilt, and reminds us all that we are not responsible for remedying how other people feel about the decisions we make for ourselves.    What advice would you give this listener?   If you’ve got a friendship dilemma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod! --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. ---  Social media:   Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 27 September 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Scott, a man who, now in his 40s, has experienced a sudden turnover in the friends he made in his 20s. A repeating pattern of rupture and loss has made him more defensive in the friendships he has left and wary of making new friends, and friendship has gone from being something he felt he could count on in the past to being something that feels much more risky in the present. So far, he's looked to his own behaviour for explanation. In this conversation, Emma guides Scott to look further back at the role he played within his family to help understand the expectations he has of himself in friendships now. This is a conversation about boundaries, and why it's OK to aim for doing what is appropriate in your friendships, rather than whatever is physically possible. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 23 September 2024

Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, we hear from a listener who recognises that they have a tendency to initiate very intense friendships, only to end them abruptly after a short time. This listener travels frequently for work and struggles to hold on to friendships long-term, but is that because they are not around in a purely geographical sense, or because there's something deeper there to explore? In this episode, Emma explores the idea of bingeing and purging in friendship, and how we can both crave connection and be overwhelmed by it beyond a certain point. We also discover the role that attachment styles can play in our friendships, and why sometimes, it's better to lean into our fears and allow them to motivate us to make a change, rather than sticking with what we've always known. What advice would you give this listener? If you’ve got a friendship dilemma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod! --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 20 September 2024

This week, Emma is joined by Annie to talk about her friendship with Katie, one that was born out of tragic circumstances and one that others have struggled to accept. Katie had been engaged to Annie's brother and a cherished member of their family since she'd first arrived on the scene at 15, but some years later, they decided to take a break from their relationship. When Pete was tragically killed in a road traffic collision, Annie and Katie continued to be an active presence in each other's lives as they both navigated grief, loss, new relationships and parenthood. In this episode, we hear about how Annie and Katie's friendship has sustained them through life's ups and downs, and why the last conversation Annie ever had with Pete would prove to be so important to the friendship they would go on to build. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 16 September 2024

Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, we hear from a listener who is struggling to navigate an imbalance in communication styles in a friendship, especially when it comes to making plans and responding to messages within a perceived timeframe that, currently, neither of them are sticking to. How can these friends update their friendship contract into the present so that both parties can show up wholly as themselves? Can people who have very different communication styles be in a successful friendship where their individual needs are met? In this episode, Emma comes back to attachment styles to try and understand what the dissonance could be between these friends, and why they have two very different reactions to a lack of ‘regular’ communication, whatever that looks like for them. Are they simply singing from different hymn sheets, or is it about giving themselves permission individually to behave in the ways that work for them within the friendship? What advice would you give this listener? If you’ve got a friendship dilemma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod! --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 13 September 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Holly to talk about friendship heartbreak and how it feels to be dumped by a friend. When Holly’s two closest friends got engaged, she found herself waiting for an invitation to be a part of the bridal party that never came. What happened next was a slow and painful reevaluation of the terms of a friendship that had formed such a significant and meaningful part of her life for more than a decade. In this conversation, Emma and Holly discover how a text message about wedding planning would unravel a whole decade's worth of friendship and, ultimately, reveal a much more conditional connection built on conflict avoidance and adaptation. Through the Transactional Analysis theory of games, we look back to the beginning of Holly's friendship game to help her understand what went wrong and learn how to avoid the same heartbreak in future. To learn more about transactional analysis and the games people play, visit: https://www.mindtools.com/ayjtd4p/transactional-analysis If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 9 September 2024

Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, we hear from a listener who has experienced a rupture in a friendship and is struggling to set boundaries with the friend who has hurt them, within the larger friendship group that they are both an active part of. How do we remove ourselves from relationships that are no longer serving us, without becoming estranged from the entire group? When there isn’t an emergency exit, how can we navigate situations of conflict or rupture? In this episode, Emma talks about family systems, the responsibilities we take on for others in group dynamics vs what is actually appropriate and reasonable, and learning to radically accept other people’s choices as theirs, and not our own, in order to co-exist more peacefully. What advice would you give this listener? If you’ve got a friendship dilemma and you'd like Emma's help, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod! --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 6 September 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy! This is the podcast in which author and psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapy lens. This week, Emma is joined by Emily to explore why a long-term friendship with someone who was maid of honour at her wedding would become someone who now gives her, in Emily's words, the 'ick.' Emma and Emily talk about the function of the ick, a primal human response that we feel in any relationship that doesn't quite add up, and how the ick might be protecting Emily from feeling sad feelings; because after a lifetime of stifling her voice, motherhood and miscarriage saw her finally risk taking some space and needing some attention for herself. When this friendship let Emily down, it wasn't just the loss of her friendship that she had to process, but the loss of her unconscious hope that one day someone might finally put her first. This is an episode all about the unsaids and why the end of a relationship is less often the result of what we say and more often the result of what we don't. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 2 September 2024

Welcome to the first episode of Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to Dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, we hear from a listener who wants to make new friends post-university, but as an introvert, they find the prospect of trying to meet new people very daunting. This listener also struggles with fears of rejection and feeling like they are not enough. In her reflections, Emma talks about endings, change, growth, and the importance of allowing ourselves to take the pressure off and get curious about who we are, what we’re actually looking for in friendships and what we can offer as a friend. What advice would you give this listener? If you’ve got a friendship dilemma and you'd like Emma's help, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod! --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 30 August 2024

Welcome to the first episode of Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to Dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds. This week, we hear from a listener who wants to make new friends post-university, but as an introvert, they find the prospect of trying to meet new people very daunting. This listener also struggles with fears of rejection and feeling like they are not enough. In her reflections, Emma talks about endings, change, growth, and the importance of allowing ourselves to take the pressure off and get curious about who we are, what we’re actually looking for in friendships and what we can offer as a friend. What advice would you give this listener? If you’ve got a friendship dilemma and you'd like Emma's help, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod! --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 30 August 2024

Welcome to season two of Friendship Therapy! This is the podcast in which author and psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapy lens. In our first episode of season two, Emma looks at overthinking in friendship with her guest, primary school teacher and mother of three, Rose. It's a conversation that takes us to an unexpected place, but one that ultimately helps Rose to unpack her overthinking in friendship, and understand why it may come down to a fear of loss. When she was just nine years old, Rose left Australia for a trip to England with her mother and brother, expecting her father to join them a fortnight later. Tragically, Rose's dad never made it to England. He died suddenly during their first week away, and life would never be the same again. During this conversation, Emma and Rose explore the idea that her tendency to worry about her friendships might have something to do with the loss of her father when she was a child, and whether teaching a group of nine year olds for the first time this year might have emerged some big feelings for the nine year old she once was. In her reflections on the episode, Emma also reminds us that it's hard to feel, but sometimes, it's harder not to. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 26 August 2024

Hello, lovely listeners! We're back for season two of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which psychotherapist and author Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapy lens. Subscribe now and don't miss the first episode when it drops on Monday 26th August.

Transcribed - Published: 16 August 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, and our last episode of season one! This is the bitesize episode, where Emma discusses her therapeutic takeaways from her conversation with this week's guests, Victoria and Helen. Having met (and bonded over their shared love of musical theatre) at a time when many of their peers were meeting 'the one,' Victoria and Helen joined Emma on the podcast to talk about finding a life partner in a friend, the lack of representation of platonic relationships in the media, and the challenges that they have faced as two heterosexual women who have found a soulmate in each other. In this bitesize episode, Emma reflects on the blind spots that she often sees in romantic relationships and explores some of the themes that came up in her conversation with Victoria and Helen, drawing on her 15 years of experience as a psychotherapist to answer some of the bigger questions when it comes to modern partnerships. Why is society still failing to recognise the significance and value of friendships? Does longevity equal success when it comes to relationships? And how can we create space in our relationships to allow each other to grow, develop, evolve and change? Find out what you might be missing: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/454959/what-am-i-missing-by-turrell-emma-reed/9780241624982 If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 12 July 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. In the final full episode of season one (don't worry, there's still Friday's bitesize episode to come!), Emma chats to Helen, 29, and Victoria, 32, about the value of friendships compared to romantic relationships, finding your life partner within a platonic relationship, and why some partnerships simply can't be categorised - but that doesn't mean that they are any less valid or important. Helen and Victoria, both working as teachers, met at a musical theatre society when they were in their late twenties and early thirties - a crucial time during which many of their peers were meeting 'the one' and building a life with a romantic partner. Meanwhile, Helen and Victoria found in each other a platonic soulmate, a life partner with whom they could share all the domesticities of daily life, and connect with deeply on an emotional level too. By society's standards, Helen and Victoria's relationship is very much outside of the norm, and they simply can't and won't fit neatly into a box that is recognisable, or even acceptable, to the people around them. In this episode, Helen and Victoria share their experience of finding a soulmate in a friend, the radical acceptance and permission to be themselves that they bring to each other's lives, and their frustration at the way society has failed to recognise the significance and value of platonic relationships. Emma also reflects on a deeply meaningful platonic relationship in her own life, and identifies a potential blind spot that we could all overcome. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 8 July 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy! This is the bitesize episode, where Emma discusses her therapeutic takeaways from her conversation with this week's guest, Rachel. On Monday's episode, Rachel bravely opened up about the loss of her father two years ago. It was a bereavement that, in her words, 'shone a light' on the friends who were willing to get in the trenches with her, and those who couldn't meet her where she was. For Rachel, the death of her dad signified the end of an incredibly difficult six months since his re-diagnosis, during which she had to contend with the inevitable arrival of her very worst fear, and the loss of the hope that she had been holding on to since she was a 12 year old girl making wishes on birthday candles. The losses that Rachel had experienced since she was a child gave her a sense of vigilance that stayed with her into adulthood, causing her to feel fearful of change, particularly within her friendship groups. In this bitesize episode, Emma explores where Rachel's fear of loss and endings originates from and how it is showing up in her friendships now, with the help of the blind spot profiles in her latest book, What am I Missing? Emma also explains the concept of 'compound loss' in therapy and how we can begin to navigate it, and why fear, hope, love and sadness exist most productively when we allow them to co-exist. Find out more about the blind spot profiles: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/454959/what-am-i-missing-by-turrell-emma-reed/9780241624982 If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 5 July 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. This week, Emma chats to 28-year-old Rachel about intertwining our identity with our friendships, the process of 'trimming' friends over time as we grow and age, and how the turbulence and loss of our teens and twenties can affect our friendships. Rachel very sadly lost her dad when she was 26, and as an only child, she found the process of grieving incredibly isolating and lonely. It wasn't the first time she had gone through turbulence and change in her home life; Rachel's dad was first diagnosed with cancer when she was just 12 years old, and when she was 16, her parents separated. Without a sibling who she could share the loss with, Rachel's friends stepped in to hold her hand in the trenches of grief and help her navigate some of the most challenging moments in her life. In this episode, Rachel speaks so honestly and candidly about grief, loss and hope, the parental role that she played in her friendship groups and how that changed and evolved over time, leaning into reciprocity in relationships, and navigating the fear of loss as our lives and friendships take on a different trajectory. Learn more about the blind spots in Emma's new book, What am I Missing?: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/454959/what-am-i-missing-by-turrell-emma-reed/9780241624982 If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 1 July 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy! This is the bitesize episode, where Emma discusses her therapeutic takeaways from her conversation with this week's guest, Jemima. Jemima joined us to talk about her experience of being diagnosied with dyspraxia when she was just six years old, and the impact that neurodivergence has had on her life and friendships. We heard about the remedial classes that she was put through, the hours spent throwing and catching balls in her back garden, the extra effort that she had to put in to try to fit in with the other children; all of which led her to resent her diagnosis. Later, in adulthood, Jemima found herself rejecting the idea of being 'parented' by her friends, having already spent almost her entire life being told what her limits were and what she definitely couldn't do because she is neurodivergent. In this bitesize episode, Emma returns to Eric Berne's parent, adult, child model in transactional analysis, exploring how the different facets of the parent and child ego states might be showing up in Jemima's friendships and in her own internal processes. Eric Berne's parent, adult, child theory: https://www.simplypsychology.org/transactional-analysis-eric-berne.html If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 28 June 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. This week, Emma chats to Jemima, who reached out to Emma to talk about the impact that neurodivergence has had on her friendships. Diagnosed at just six years old, dyspraxia has affected every aspect of Jemima's life since she was a small child, from being put into remedial classes at school, to throwing and catching balls with her brother so she could be more like the other children. Jemima's family just wanted to keep her safe from a world that didn't necessarily understand her, but Jemima wanted to reject her dyspraxia diagnosis altogether. Now, as a woman in her forties, she has come to learn a lot about herself and the way she exists in the world as a neurodiverse woman with her own unique experiences in life and in friendship. In this episode, Jemima generously shares how she navigates friendship and dyspraxia. We hear about her experience of being neurodivergent in a world that doesn't always celebrate difference, struggling with burnout and feelings of rejection and abandonment, and through it all, the unwavering support, love and encouragement that her friends and family have shown her. Jemima's story reminds us that when we mess up, as we inevitably will, having grace for ourselves and for our friends can be an incredibly powerful metric of friendship. To find out more about Eric Berne's Parent, Adult, Child theory, click here: https://www.simplypsychology.org/transactional-analysis-eric-berne.html Information on dyspraxia from the NHS website: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/developmental-coordination-disorder-dyspraxia-in-adults/ Exceptional Individuals - https://exceptionalindividuals.com/ Some book recommendations from Jemima: The Lion Who Wanted to Love - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lion-Who-Wanted-Love/dp/1860399134/ref=asc_df_1860399134/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697208928393&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9929041182393392105&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046002&hvtargid=pla-537898099083&psc=1&mcid=36f7310928af3f02b640a4340b0442d0&th=1&psc=1&gad_source=1 Autism in Heels - https://booksplea.se/autism-in-heels-the-untold-story-of-a-female-life-on-the-spectrum-by-jennifer-cook-otoole/?setCurrencyId=1&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqanE7ZXbhgMVspVQBh3j_QLDEAQYASABEgL6MfD_BwE Rhinocorn Rules - https://www.theworks.co.uk/p/picture-books/rhinocorn-rules/WKS_9780008617103.html?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyLf5iZbbhgMVw4hQBh2_rAo8EAQYASABEgJYv_D_BwE If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 24 June 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy! This is the bitesize episode, where Emma discusses her therapeutic takeaways from her conversation with this week's guest. This week, Emma met Charlotte, whose fear of losing a treasured childhood friend has her questioning how to keep the spark alive in long-term friendships. When Charlotte and her friend see each other, they can pick right up where they left off: but are they spending too much time down memory lane, rather than updating their friendship into the present? In this bitesize episode, Emma digs deeper into the impact of nostalgia in long-term friendships, how our childhood friends are caretakers for past versions of ourselves, and why passivity or non-confrontation in friendship break-ups can cause us to reinforce our blind spots and fill in the wrong blanks. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 21 June 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. This week, Emma chats to 32-year-old Charlotte about how to keep the spark alive in long-term friendships. In this episode, Charlotte opens up about her fear of a childhood friendship 'fizzling out' as they both move into different phases of life and embrace new friendships. She describes how even though their opportunities for connection have lessened over the years, she and this long-term friend can pick up right where they left off when they do see each other, often spending their time together reminiscing about their shared past rather than bringing their friendship into the present. Emma and Charlotte discuss the role that our childhood friends play in being caretakers of our past selves, passivity and lack of clarity in friendship break-ups, how to allocate our friendship energy, and why avoiding confrontation or not updating our friendships into 2024 often causes us to fill in the wrong blanks or reinforce limiting beliefs about ourselves. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 17 June 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy! This is the bitesize episode, where Emma discusses her therapeutic takeaways from her conversation with this week's guest. This week, Emma met another Emma, a psychotherapist who found herself questioning her place in her childhood friendship group after becoming a mother at 19, going through a divorce in her thirties and persuing a new career as a therapist later in life. In this bitesize episode, Emma takes us through the Nursing Triad, healthy first order symbiosis and Eric Berne's Parent, Adult Child ego states theory within Transactional Analysis, and how Emma's friends played a practical and emotional co-parent role in Emma's life as she navigated becoming a mother when she was still a child herself. Emma also reflects on Emma's therapy journey, her growing curiosity and defiance against decades-old patterns, and how she found herself challenging the boundaries and renegotiating her friendships to find out if she could be accepted unconditionally. To find out more about Eric Berne's Parent, Adult, Child theory, click here: https://www.simplypsychology.org/transactional-analysis-eric-berne.html If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 14 June 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, a brand new podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. This week, Emma speaks to fellow psychotherapist Emma Gammons. Emma became a mother at 19 and subsequently went through a divorce in her thirties, eventually finding herself in training to become a psychotherapist much later in life than her peers. Through it all, her close-knit group of childhood friends were a guiding light for her - becoming not just a support system, but a partner who showed up for Emma and her daughter practically and emotionally. The friendship dynamic shifted when Emma started having therapy as part of her training, encouraging her to seek authenticity in herself and in her friendships. She found herself wanting to lift lids and have difficult conversations with these childhood friends, seeking to understand them better and make sense of her role in their lives. In this episode, Emma and Emma discuss the impact that therapy can have on our relationships, how to navigate changing dynamics and different life stages, why it’s okay to live with discomfort in our friendships, and how we can sometimes leave the lids where they are and trust that our friends want the best for us. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 10 June 2024

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy and our first bitesize episode, where Emma shares her therapeutic takeaways from her conversation with this week's guests, Janine and Julia. In this bitesize episode, Emma dives into the concept of yin and yang, a term that Janine and Julia use to describe themselves and their friendship. Emma explains how the contrasting dots of colour in the yin and yang symbol represent the need for chaos and control to exist harmoniously, and how this concept can help us to identify what we might need more of in our own lives. Emma also encourages us to think about what we can and want to offer in friendship, why we don't have to tick every single box on someone else's friendship application form, and how our childhood friendships can be updated and nurtured to reflect who we are in the present. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 7 June 2024

Welcome to the first ever episode of Friendship Therapy, a brand new podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. This week, Emma speaks to best friends for 25 years, Janine and Julia. Describing their personalities as ‘yin and yang’, these two women were thrown together in the school playground, becoming friends by default rather than design. In the years that followed, they worked to grow and nurture a deeply meaningful, complex friendship that has seen them through some of the most challenging and joyful moments in their lives. From school sleepover dramas and Sunday night phone calls after Dawson’s Creek, to relationship breakdowns, motherhood and changing priorities, Janine and Julia have remained the constant in each other’s lives for more than two decades. In this very special debut episode, Emma explores the evolution of Janine and Julia’s friendship over the decades, the roles that these two friends filled for each other, and the enduring power of unconditional love, acceptance and consistency in friendship. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 3 June 2024

Welcome to the first ever episode of Friendship Therapy, a brand new podcast where psychotherapist, author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell looks at your friendship experiences through a therapy lens. This week, Emma speaks to best friends for 25 years, Janine and Julia. Describing their personalities as ‘yin and yang’, these two women were thrown together in the school playground, becoming friends by default rather than design. In the years that followed, they worked to grow and nurture a deeply meaningful, complex friendship that has seen them through some of the most challenging and joyful moments in their lives. From school sleepover dramas and Sunday night phone calls after Dawson’s Creek, to relationship breakdowns, motherhood and changing priorities, Janine and Julia have remained the constant in each other’s lives for more than two decades. In this very special debut episode, Emma explores the evolution of Janine and Julia’s friendship over the decades, the roles that these two friends filled for each other, and the enduring power of unconditional love, acceptance and consistency in friendship. If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season two, please click the link below: https://forms.gle/owsfs6DVxVdTMFo46 --- Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook. --- Social media: Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 3 June 2024

Friendship Therapy is a brand new podcast coming soon, in which psychotherapist and author Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapy lens. Subscribe now and don't miss the first episode when it drops on Monday 3rd June.

Transcribed - Published: 23 May 2024

Well, here we are. Emma is firmly in denial and Elizabeth is busy looking for silver linings because this week's episode of Best Friend Therapy is our LAST ONE EVER. Probably. We have loved every minute of these last two years, as we've curated this collection of conversations to share with you, our wonderful listeners. Thank you so much for having us and we hope you'll join us for one last look back, at the journey we've been on together... We talk about our favourite episodes and look back on some of the memorable moments that made us laugh and cry. We'd love to hear from you about your favourite episodes and what you'll take away from this series and, remember, the back catalogue is there for you whenever you want to dip in and hear some words of comfort and support, or just enjoy hearing us lose it over that pesky rustle in the bush. Elizabeth shares her heartfelt thanks for the space you've given to her feelings on fertility and Emma will forever be grateful for the confidence she's gained to speak her truth more widely. Finally, know that we see you. We hear you. We understand you. And you are not alone. You will always be welcome here. Oh, and watch this space for what comes next... Love Elizabeth and Emma xx --- We are so looking forward to seeing some of you IRL at our live finale show on Thursday 4th April, at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London! And if you couldn't get a ticket, or you just fancy watching from the comfort of your own sofa, you can now join us via livestream. Book a ticket to watch live, or on demand for a week after the event, here: https://www.fane.co.uk/best-friend-therapy --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2024

We begin this episode with the announcement that this... sniff... will be... sniff... our last season of Best Friend Therapy but DON'T PANIC because there are good reasons which we'll go into and plenty of exciting new projects in the pipeline! Which also means there's no time to lose and so this week we take a deep dive into the work Emma has been developing around her unique model of "blind spot therapy", and which she's sharing with us all in her upcoming book, What Am I Missing? If you have ever wondered why you end up repeating patterns of unhealthly behaviour, in the wrong relationships, caught up in conflict in your family or held back at work, you might be acting out of a blind spot - an area of low or no awareness that means you can't see things clearly and end up tripping over the same obstacles in life. Emma has developed a brand new psychological theory to translate ideas of unconscious bias, learned behaviours and cultural conditioning into four clear and relatable blind spot profiles: Listen along this week and find out whether you might be: THE GLADIATOR, determined but missing trust THE BRIDGE, easy-going but missing authenticity THE HUSTLER, charming but missing self-worth Or THE ROCK, resilient but missing boundaries Elizabeth explores how being a Bridge/Hustler, or a "Bristle" as we affectionately like to call her, has affected her in the past and Emma explains how her inner Rock led her to become a therapist. Published by Penguin on 4th April, What Am I Missing? will teach you how to overcome the blind spots that are holding you back and explain why, when they said "what you don't know won't hurt you", they couldn't have been more wrong! --- EXCLUSIVE PRE-ORDER OFFER: You can get £5 off your copy of What Am I Missing? if you pre-order online at Waterstones and use the code WHATAMIMISSING before the 4th April. https://www.waterstones.com/book/what-am-i-missing/emma-reed-turrell/9780241624982 And if you do pre-order a hardback, audiobook or e-book edition from any UK retailer, you can also enter a competition to win an online 1:1 Blind Spot Therapy Session with Emma! Just visit https://penguinrandomhouse.eu.research.net/r/WhatAmIMissingComp to enter your details. Malcolm Gladwell talks about the "10,000-Hour Rule", in his book Outliers, it's an excellent take on what makes us successful: https://amzn.eu/d/2Or36uE --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 11 March 2024

Welcome back to Best Friend Therapy and this season’s opportunity for Emma to therapise our beloved guinea pig, Elizabeth Day, whilst offering some psycho-education for us all about the Transactional Analysis concept of the “Drama Triangle” - why and how we end up repeating conflict in relationships (be they personal or professional) and what we can do to change it. The Drama Triangle was developed by Stephen Karpman in the 1960’s and tells us about three unhealthy roles we take on in drama - the Rescuer, the Persecutor, the Victim. Elizabeth talks about a time she adopted the role of Rescuer as a way of defending her Victim and she recognises the futile task of trying to solve someone’s problems when they are not yet ready to change. She also tells us about the guilt she feels when she fails the other person and we uncover the unconscious motivations that are keeping her stuck. Listen along with an example of your own and ask yourself: If you’re the Rescuer, what are your feelings and needs? If you’re the Persecutor, what can’t you tolerate really? If you’re the Victim, what are your options to take back control? Emma explains and gives examples of how to channel more productive, constructive Adult communication using Acey Choy’s “Winners Triangle”, to remove the conflict and get closer to the results you want. --- The original reference for the Drama Triangle is: Karpman MD, Stephen (1968). "Fairy tales and script drama analysis". Transactional Analysis Bulletin. 26 (7): 39–43. https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/pdf/DramaTriangle.pdf Choy, Acey (1990). The Winner's Triangle Transactional Analysis Journal 20(1):40 https://www.scribd.com/document/577707612/Winner-s-Triangle And this brilliant book by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines is a great introduction to all things TA, including Eric Berne’s work on Games: https://amzn.eu/d/eZEkUmD --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2024

What is introversion and extroversion anyway? This week we’re drawing on the ideas of Carl Jung, and the Big Five personality traits, to help us understand why some people get their energy from being around other people, and others prefer to recharge their batteries on their own. Emma challenges the idea that it’s simply a matter of personality, and wonders whether we develop these behaviours as an adaptation to societal pressures, and Elizabeth explains why, as an introvert, she prefers a voice note to a phone call. We chat about the impact of social media and the pandemic, cross-cultural influences and, most importantly, whether you’re a bath or a shower person. --- Carl Jung on psychological types: Jung, C. G. [1921] 1971. Psychological Types, Collected Works of C.G. Jung, vol. 6. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. More on the Big Five personality traits: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 26 February 2024

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we tackle the thorny issue of comparison - how it gets in our way, what its true function is and how it can actually direct us to feel happier and more fulfilled. From Reese Witherspoon to Richard II, we cover themes of unconditional acceptance and safety, via the rise of social media and the Peasants Revolt (bear with us, ED is ever the historian). Emma teaches us the difference between jealousy and envy and Elizabeth tells us how gratitude is her antidote to comparison (and why ex’s are no longer up for discussion). —- Emma does the show notes and gave up history as a subject as quickly as possible, so if you’re looking for references on Richard II and the Peasants Revolt, you’re on your own. Naomi Klein’s book, however, is available here: Doppelganger: A Trip Into the Mirror World https://amzn.eu/d/gCFeiar --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 19 February 2024

Welcome to this week's episode of Best Friend Therapy - the one where we ask the tough questions... * What's the difference between emotional detachment and emotional unavailability? * Why can needs get confused with neediness? * How do sympathy and empathy serve different purposes? We explore how emotional detachment can actually help us to develop greater empathy and deepen authentic relationships, with others and ourselves. And we explain what happens when we don’t detach - how we can lose objectivity and fall foul of merging with others, enmeshing our experiences, projecting our beliefs and outsourcing our authentic needs... Emma explains why she used to work for brownie points and Elizabeth gets interested in the inner psyche of the teenage girl. --- Not for the first time we reference the Love Languages work of Gary Chapman: https://amzn.eu/d/68aAaOc --- 🚨 BIG NEWS 🚨 Not only are we back for a seventh season, but Elizabeth and Emma will be hosting a LIVE SHOW for the very first time! Book your tickets and join us live at the Bloomsbury Theatre on Thursday 4th April. We can’t wait to see your gorgeous faces IRL! 🎟️ fane.co.uk/best-friend-therapy --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 12 February 2024

🚨 BIG NEWS 🚨 Not only are we back for a brand new season, but Elizabeth and Emma will be hosting a LIVE SHOW for the very first time! Book your tickets and join us live at the Bloomsbury Theatre on Thursday 4th April. We can’t wait to see your gorgeous faces IRL! 🎟️ fane.co.uk/best-friend-therapy --- TW: Miscarriage Welcome back to our seventh season of Best Friend Therapy and we begin with a update, for all those of you who have listened to or read Elizabeth's experiences on her fertility journey and who have reached out with care and concern. Elizabeth generously shares with us where she's been, where she is now, and what life looks like when you are childfree, not by choice. She shares her frustrations with the language and reactions of some, celebrates the kindness of many and describes the grief she has lived through, to reach a place of peace and renewed purpose. Emma explains why grief can be like a game of Snakes & Ladders and reminds us that, in a world where we are encouraged to hold on, it's often the letting go that will require most courage. --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 5 February 2024

TW: Discussion on miscarriage. Welcome to this week's episode of Best Friend Therapy - the fourth instalment of our miniseries on break-ups and the final episode of Season 6! As we have been exploring different break-ups, whether it be a romantic relationship, the ending of a friendship, family estrangement or career change, we realised there is one feeling that connects them all - the feeling of rejection. So we are dedicating this final episode to unpacking this feeling - to better understand why it hurts and what we can do to help ourselves. It may be the season finale but it's most definitely not a rejection, merely a time for reflection, and we look to the work of Alain de Botton to teach us about constructive pessimism and remind ourselves of Eckhart Tolle's wise words in "The Power of Now." We also look to the great philosopher, Elizabeth Day, and hear what the glockenspiel had to teach her about rejection and why she took up the trumpet instead. Emma introduces the Transactional Anaylysis theory of the "hot potato" and walks Elizabeth down her Staircase of Beliefs, to find the fear behind the rejection, and explains why the antidote to rejection is self-acceptance and a Joy List. See you very soon for Season 7 and thanks, as always, for listening xx --- Alain de Botton talks about "constructive pessimism": https://youtu.be/Aw1oLtuJOXQ?si=6BswjGNwxPWlxc6G Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now": https://amzn.eu/d/g0Oh6mo On the Hot Potato Theory and Episcript, p.124: https://www.fanita-english.com/wp-content/uploads/pdf/Berne,%20phobia,%20episcripts%20and%20racketeering.pdf --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy Email: [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 27 November 2023

Welcome to this week's episode of Best Friend Therapy, and the penultimate instalment of our miniseries on break-ups. So far we have been focusing on personal relationships but today it’s time to take a look at professional break-ups - from being fired or made redundant, to feeling left behind or breaking up with a previous profession. We talk about why people-pleasing and work don’t mix, and why healthy work contracts have to be reciprocal (just like those family contracts that we discussed last week). Emma offers some advice on how to improve work dynamics when it's not practical to break up, and Elizabeth explains why the language of redundancy is so unhelpful. --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Transcribed - Published: 20 November 2023