You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Love cast at savage.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary or if you're looking for sexual harmony

while they're sexual harmony.

While there's nothing you can't ask

on the savage lovecast.

My first boyfriend had been out in gay for a lot longer than I had. He'd been out in

Chicago for 10 years. I'd been out in gay in Chicago when I met him for about 10 weeks and he thought it was his

solemn responsibility as the older wiser gay man in our relationship to teach me

how to be a gay man I thought making out with him in gay bars and having gay sex with him in his gay apartment later that same night made me gay enough for all practical purposes.

But he thought he needed to teach me how the bathhouses worked and

the cruising spots worked, the bushes in Lincoln Park, and especially how the dirty bookstore

on Halstead with the video booths at the back with the glory holes in them, how they worked.

Now that all sounds pretty squalid, I realize, and it all felt pretty squalid to me at the time, but understand that the baths

and the bushes and the bookstores were where gay men and buymen and closet cases

who were looking for Dick right away went before Gay.com and then

Craigslist and then Grinder and then Scruff and then Sniffies all came along.

Anyway I wasn't interested in the pushes or the bathhouses or the

bookstores. First, I couldn't share a can of Coke with my sister passing it back

and forth because backwash and kooties I certainly wasn't at 16 or 17 gonna suck a

dick that had been in 10 other mouths for all I knew and I had a lot of uncles. My mom had five siblings. My dad had eight. By blood and marriage,

I had 13 uncles, all of them in Chicago, and I did not know where they were at all times.

None of my uncles were gay but glory holes in

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