Hi, hey, hello, uh, hi. Welcome back to the wake up with Wesley show. I'm Wesley and

it's been a really long time you guys. Almost two years now since I signed off and told

you all I'd be back in just a few short weeks. But here I am 20-ish months later, finally

ready to come back to the show. So first things first, where did I go? This is what everyone

wants to know. And up until two months ago, I would have told you that I didn't go anywhere.

I did tell you this. Like I told you all on my Instagram one day that my, my lack of presence

here in this audio world. And online too, like the world we all live in die by now, like

I, I thought it meant me being absent from it all. I thought that it meant that I've just

been much more present in my day-to-day life. And that's a little bit true. But also what

I now know to believe is, is something a little bit different. So God, I never know how

to start this stuff and I never know how to end this stuff. You got to know this about

me. Like I just like the middle, the juicy meaty parts. So let's just skip all the introductions

and just get into the middle. So something changed for me in December 2020. I was 12 months into

doing an episode here every week. I didn't miss, I didn't miss a show. But suddenly and

strangely, I found myself in this crazy, like almost like an out-of-body experience where

I was triggered into a trauma response. And now here's the funny part. If there could be a

funny part about trauma, I don't know if there is, but it's funny to me. So over, over,

probably a month before this, this event happened, I did an episode with Dr. Maureen Rubin here

on the show. You can listen to it right now, where she broke down trauma and trauma responses.

And I'd always been aware of fight, flight, and freeze, but I had never heard of friending or

fawning. It was news to me. And so if you listen back to that episode, you can hear me in real time,

discover that I've been living like a sickeningly large part of my life in a fawning trauma response.

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