Self-Compassion: How to Make it Work For You with Dr. Chris Germer

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2024

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why do so many people seem to resist self-compassion? Dr. Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to explore how we can work with the deeply ingrained shame that gets in the way. Dr. Germer shares common misunderstandings about self-compassion, and they discuss the complex interplay between shame, self-criticism, and our capacity for self-care. Forrest focuses on the paradox of self-compassion: how approaching it as a “solution to your problems” actually gets in the way of it helping you out. Dr. Germer then shares the model of safety, challenge, and overwhelm, including how we can use it to guide our practice, get to the bottom of shame, and avoid burnout along the way. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:30: What people get wrong about self-compassion 5:10: Tender vs. fierce self-compassion, and the “paradox of practice” 11:35: Shame and self-compassion 17:35: Safety, challenge, and overwhelm 23:30: Holding ourselves before holding our experience 31:45: Burnout, and inner-kindness vs. external approval 37:35: Getting to the bottom of shame, and loving ourselves up 42:00: Applying mindfulness to self-compassion practice 48:40: Overzealousness, and clarity of intention 53:10: Motivating ourselves 57:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today, and if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:14.0	When I started creating content about psychology and self-development about a decade ago,
0:19.0	I would not have guessed that self-compassion, of all things, would be one of the things that people reacted to the most strongly.
0:26.3	Many people really struggle with applying self-compassion, and the phrase alone can elicit some cringes.
0:32.4	Self-compassion seems like a pretty basic good thing, right?
0:35.0	It's the ability to be kind to ourselves when things are difficult
0:38.0	and show ourselves the same care and support we might have for a friend who's
0:42.0	going through a hard time. So if that's such a good thing,
0:45.5	what's going on here? Why do so many people seem to struggle with self-compassion, and what can we do about it? To help me answer some of those
0:51.8	questions, I'm joined by Dr.
0:53.4	Chris Germer. Dr Germer is a clinical psychologist, a part-time lecturer on
0:58.4	psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and the author, co-author, and co-editor of a number of books including the mindful path to self-compassion
1:06.5	and mindfulness and psychotherapy, which is regularly used in graduate programs,
1:11.1	and he's also the co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program with Dr. Kristen Neff,
1:16.0	who we've had the pleasure of speaking with on the show in the past.
1:19.0	And together, they co-authored three books now on Mindful self-compassion, including their most recent
1:24.0	mindful self-compassion for a burnout which just came out. So congratulations about that,
1:28.8	Chris. Thanks Forrest and it's so nice to be here to speak with you. Thanks for having me on.
1:33.0	Yeah, same.
1:34.0	I'm really looking forward to this one.
1:36.0	So glad to talk to you and so glad to have you here
1:38.0	in part because I have experienced these struggles with self-compassioned myself
	...

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