4.4 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 10 April 2025
⏱️ 27 minutes
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0:00.0 | Please have a seat, my friends. Very kind. Welcome to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. |
0:10.0 | Folks, it is unpredictable. It's a very unpredictable time for our country, for the world, |
0:18.0 | and I pride myself on keeping a cool head and stormy seas. So I want to tell you, in a very measured tone, a little news item I saw today, |
0:25.6 | the Dow is back, baby. We're rich! |
0:28.6 | We're rich's archduke's caviar and cruegrants for all my friends. |
0:33.6 | Tell Gatsby and Daisy to crack the good champagne and crank up the jazz, |
0:37.7 | because we're going to span, span, span. |
0:42.3 | Because this afternoon, after days of historic market losses, |
0:49.5 | thanks to Trump's random-ass tariffs, |
0:52.1 | the Dow skyrocketed nearly 3,000 points. |
0:55.7 | And you know, the old saying, whatever goes up must continue to go up forever. |
1:00.9 | So why the surprise money party? |
1:04.5 | Well, because just after 1 p.m. today, the mad emperor of global trade decreed, |
1:14.4 | based on the fact that more than 75 countries have called representatives of the United States to negotiate a solution. |
1:20.3 | I have authorized a 90-day pause |
1:23.1 | and a substantially lowered reciprocal tariff dot, dot, dot, dot of 10%. |
1:29.9 | Well, thank goodness. |
1:32.3 | Thank goodness that at 1.18 p.m. today, Donald Trump made a decision that at the last minute |
1:38.6 | saved our nation from a previous decision by Donald Trump. |
1:44.1 | I mean, thank God. I mean, wow. Thank God. He is there. Thank God. from a previous decision by Donald Trump. |
1:45.5 | I mean, thank God. |
1:46.9 | I mean, thank God. |
... |
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