Because the closer I get to God, the more that the Lord develops me, the more I recognize

how far I am from him.

Have you ever been heavy just looking at where I am compared to where I'm supposed to be?

That the level of brokenness, the level of trauma,

the level of manipulation that has become my norm

is so off base from who I am supposed to be in God

that I have no choice just to be heavy.

Or when you start to see the fractures in your community, when you begin to see the impact

of generational curses, the toxicity that exists within our families, it was fine when

everything was normal, but the moment I started pursuing health, the moment that I wanted

to actually be made in the image of God, my heart is breaking

for the friendships that no longer makes sense anymore.

My heart is breaking for the way that I can't fit in with my family anymore.

My heart is breaking.

The closer I get to God, the heavier I become because I didn't realize that saying yes

to him and saying no to them and I'm trying to carry them with me,

but I got to grieve and move forward is heavy.

The closer I get to God, the more I see this world the way God sees it.

And now my heart is breaking at every headline.

I'm discouraged when I see war.

I'm discouraged.

When I see violence, I'm discouraged.

...