Sleep Training and Attachment
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 21 April 2025
⏱️ 98 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 Introduction to sleep training
5:10 Cry-it-out method
09:01 Ferber method
12:34 Fading method
19:38 Am I harming my child?
27:24 Overly permissive training
35:12 Overly harsh training
39:26 "It just happened"
40:08 Attuned sleep training
49:31 Dr. Kirk's fundamentals of sleep training
1:17:40 When can I leave my child overnight?
1:25:36 How can I avoid causing attachment injury?
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April 21, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, deserving listeners. Today's episode is about sleep training for infants, trying to train them to |
| 0:06.0 | sleep throughout the night, trying to train them to sleep on their own without you needing to be |
| 0:12.0 | right by their side or at the ready constantly helping them to adjust and be resilient within reason |
| 0:18.8 | based on the kid and based on the age, making it age |
| 0:22.2 | appropriate. And I am prompted to make this episode because there was an email about this, |
| 0:28.3 | and I decided to formalize my, I have a whole approach to this that I've worked with parents |
| 0:34.9 | before as a therapist, but I've never developed notes on a |
| 0:40.4 | lecture that I can provide general audiences. So I spent time on that, and I thought I would |
| 0:47.2 | get into it today. So let's get to it. My name is Dr. Kirk Honda. I'm a therapist and a professor. |
| 0:53.3 | Let's read the email. Anonymous patron, she says, |
| 0:57.2 | I am a first-time mama of a third-generation bad sleeper. I would love it if you could do a deep |
| 1:05.2 | dive on sleep training. So just chiming in, sounds like herself is a bad sleeper or was a bad sleeper as an infant |
| 1:14.2 | and at least one of her parents also. So anonymous patron is saying, I would love it if you could do |
| 1:20.3 | a deep dive on sleep training. I'm not going to do a deep dive today, but I am going to do a mini deep dive. |
| 1:26.3 | I thought about it, took some notes, looked up, researched, |
| 1:29.2 | that kind of thing. Going out with the email, there is very, there is very conflicting evidence out |
| 1:36.2 | there. Some suggest it is not psychologically damaging to do sleep training. Others suggest that it is psychologically damaging to engage in sleep |
| 1:47.0 | training. Some say it works. Others say it doesn't. Information within health care is also conflicting. |
| 1:54.6 | I would love to know more about this billion dollar industry from a psychological perspective. |
| 2:06.0 | End of email. Yeah part of the problem is that it's a billion dollar industry and anytime it's a billion dollar industry anytime |
| 2:11.3 | there's money there's going to be charlatans and people trying to put down other points of view |
| 2:16.8 | so that adds fuel to the fire. |
... |
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