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Hello buglers and welcome to issue 4,332 of The Bugle, barking helplessly into the void since 2007.

I am Andy Zaltzman, coming to you live and in the past and or future,

depending on when you listen to this, from the Granite City, Aberdeen in Scotland, a place that

fears not the colour grey. Many people think that Aberdeen acquired its nickname because so many of the

buildings here are built of the Celebrity Rock Granite, famed, of course, for its granite's rock-like hardness.

And those people would be right.

But there is another school of thought that also claims that the Granite City tag

actually derives from a 14th century advertising campaign

trying to encourage people to consult the wisdom of old women

to solve their problems rather than bottling everything up

and keeping stuff to themselves.

The slogan, don't can it, Granite, was hugely successful for several hundred years, hence the name of the city.

Sorry, I've got to take this.

Google Podcast, Andy speaking.

Yes?

Sorry, you're saying I need to stop avoiding reality by fleeing to the comforting bosom of bullshit at the first available opportunity.

...