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media. slash Doboy's Media. Let's see how many times we can say $5 foot long.

Let's mention it as many times as possible,

without making someone hurt us.

The result of this directive from MMB marketing Hancho's Jerry Cronin and Jamie Mambro

was the $5 foot long song, the most memorable earworm jingle of the 2000s.

Composed by Jimmy Haranette of Ad Music Stable Tone Farm, the song was constantly

on the airwaves in the dying days of commercial television and successfully hammered home the value of a

foot-long sub sandwich for a five spot.

The Sando's actual size was well under 12 inches, a fraudulent length like a falsely

promised huge hog.

But still a remarkable value for a thousand plus calories of processed meats

and machine-slice veggies on an unfrozen bread log.

Today inflation means those same sandwiches go for about $12, almost double the federal

minimum wage. But back in the Halcyon days of the Obama era, thanks largely to the

jingle, the promotion was a massive success for the world's largest sandwich chain and second largest restaurant chain in terms of locations. Today the chain no doubt wishes that song was their advertising legacy as opposed to its actual

legacy, funding the letrous lifestyle of living mascot Jared Fogle for nearly two decades.

Now Fogle is spending nearly two decades in federal prison for sex crimes and the chain too is

shackled in a sense with locations shuttering regulators finding and franchise owners suing

...