Ho, ho, ho, this is Slurp Bofa coming to you live from the Deep Programme sweatshop deep in the bowels of the earth.

With consumption season in full swing, your favorite podcasters are here to help.

We've assassinated the CEO of North Pole LLC, Santa Claus, and are now

capitalously producing anti-capitalist product made by the nimble hands of fully unionized

children. I mean, uh, elves. This season's drop reeks of versatility, suitable for all sorts

of critical life events, from corporate Christmas parties to weddings,

paramilitary clandestine operations, or even dinner dates, if any of you are capable of finding love.

Our flying reindeer are currently on loan as an organic vegan alternative to military drones,

bringing down the average CO2 emissions of a payload delivery to almost zero.

The many brave private military companies flying over Syria right now couldn't be happier with the service.

So this year, we hope a classic human delivery man will suffice.

If you're lucky, it might even be Hakim, with an extra package for you.

Follow the link below, get dripped out, consume ironically,

support the show, and make family gatherings extremely awkward. Patrons, as always, get a

discount because class society or something. Happy holidays from all of us here at the D-Program.

Hello everyone and welcome to yet another episode of the D-Program.

Today for the second time on the show, we have Lolo, the working people's lawyer, the free digital legal advice machine, the second hottest ginger and the number one man you should

hit up if you just shot up a CEO. Welcome, Lolo. Glad to have you back. Before we start today's

episode of building up a case for Luigi, the infamous adjuster and CEO assassin.

Please tell us a little bit more about yourself, what you do. Who's number one?

People can find.

Who's the number one?

...