4.9 • 811 Ratings
🗓️ 3 January 2024
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Today we’re talking about identity, divorce, shame, imperfection and the gift of blowing it with psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman who is a mother of 2, a clinical and academic wiz, and host of the widely praised parenting podcast Raising Good Humans. In this conversation, Dr. Aliza Pressman discusses how the parenting advice industry has turned into gobbledygook and why she felt it important to write her book, ’The Five Principles of Parenting,’ which teaches parents a manageable framework for raising children: relationships, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair.
Aliza reflects on her “big time adulting moment:” letting go of shame and judgment after her divorce. Aliza and Caitlin also discuss navigating unexpected challenges in life, the loss of the life they envisioned, and the need to reconcile their own desires with the responsibilities of parenting. The main takeaway is that we are all flawed humans. We make mistakes. Shit happens we don’t expect. Not everything is in our control. But we do have the power to normalize imperfections, practice self-compassion, and repair our relationships when we mess up. Aliza reminds us that when we let go of perfect, we can become positive and transformative influences in a children's lives.
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0:00.0 | The first year of baby group, everybody's new at it and everything feels so big and scary. |
0:07.9 | And then I had to tell them that I was divorced. |
0:12.0 | I just was so ashamed. |
0:15.4 | I'm a psychologist. |
0:17.5 | How would anybody feel safe in my hands? |
0:23.4 | I am with Dr. Lisa Pressman, who is the host of wildly popular and successful podcast, raising good humans. |
0:32.7 | You're like top five every week, it looks like, in the parenting category, which is phenomenal because I know |
0:40.5 | what that takes. And now you have a book coming out, which is called The Five Principles of Parenting. |
0:47.1 | Tell us, what do we need to know? Hi, by the way, welcome. Hi. You make me happy every day. |
0:55.7 | Now, ever since I discovered you. |
1:02.3 | Okay, so my book is called The Five Principles of Parenting because, first of all, |
1:05.7 | I was not going to write a book because I feel like there are amazing books out there and who needs to add more to parents' plates of like a stack of books where you're like, I have to get to that. |
1:12.5 | And so I felt guilty. But then over time, I understand that some people like to have like one place to just sort of reference things. |
1:23.2 | So I decided to put what I thought like kind of everything under one roof that you might need in terms of parenting support, but not more than that. |
1:34.7 | So I felt like five principles is doable, teachable, manageable, manageable, and it's all you need based on a science in order to help your kids thrive |
1:48.5 | from the zero to adolescence set. |
1:51.4 | I know it's a wide range, but the answer is always the same. |
1:55.2 | Like if you sign up for a course, I don't even have to see that course. |
1:58.5 | I know exactly what the advice is going to be. |
2:01.7 | Yeah. |
2:02.3 | It's going to be the same thing that it was for everything else, but just said, filling in the blank of the topic at hand. |
2:09.2 | And I understand that sometimes it feels like we need that. |
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