I wish I could throw Elizabeth Alexander's question by way of poetry,

are we not of interest to each other, into town hall meetings, the halls of Congress,

and let it roll around for a while?

Our cultural mode of debating issues by way of competing certainties comes with a drive to resolution.

We want others to acknowledge that our answers are right.

We call the debate or get on the same page or take a vote and move on.

The alternative involves a different orientation to the point of conversing in the first place.

To invite searching. Not on who is right and who is

wrong and the arguments on every side, not on whether we can agree, but on what is at stake in human

terms for us all. There is value in learning to speak together honestly and relate to each other with dignity

without rushing to common ground that would leave all the hard questions hanging.

What is it in your own position that gives you trouble?

What is it in the position of the other that you are attracted to?

Where do you have doubts?

The need to approach others positively and with enthusiasm for difference is absolutely critical to any change.

This is becoming wise, an inquiry into the mystery and the art of living.

I'm Krista Tippett.

Francis Kissling is best known as a pro-choice advocate, the longtime head of Catholics for Choice.

Less famously, when she retired from Catholics for Choice a decade ago, she decided to give herself over to learning what it would mean to be in real relationship with her political opposites. She's steeped in the particular context of reproductive

rights, but what she's learned applies to every sphere. Common ground can be found between people

who do not have deep, deep differences.

And in politics, you can find compromise.

...