Welcome to the HBRidecast from Harvard Business Review.

I'm Alison Beard.

I like to think of myself as a fairly good conversationalist. After all, a big part of my job is interviewing experts on this show and for HBR events,

and I spend the rest of my time talking to academics and executives about how to shape

their ideas into articles.

Away from work, you'll also find me chatting up people pretty regularly, family, friends, the guy at the gym, the stranger I just met at a party.

Still, when it comes to conversational skills, there's always room for improvement.

And I'll admit that even I come away from some interactions unsure of myself.

Did I talk too much? Ask questions of everyone.

Share too candidly. No matter the topic setting or partner, conversations can be tricky,

and yet navigating them well, from water cooler to boardroom, school drop-off to dinner outing,

can yield both professional and personal benefits. So, whether you're a

practice talker or more socially awkward, it pays to better understand how conversations work

and how to get better at them. Our guest today is here to help. Alison Woodbrooks is an

associate professor at Harvard Business School, and she wrote the book, Talk,

the Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves.

Alison, welcome.

Thank you so much for having me, Allison.

So we all know people who are just fabulous, fluid conversationalists and others who just aren't that good.

How much of that is due to just an extroverted, confident, warm personality, or the way you were brought up in a talkative family, or just having lots of interesting things to say, versus being a more shy or self-conscious person, growing up in a less chatty environment,

or just not having that much to contribute to the conversation.

I think at the heart of your question is, you know,

...