Hello, buglers and welcome to Bugle Issue 4,337 sub-episode A for an unexpected week off the bugle due to unforeseen circumstances.

We will be back next week with a full episode featuring Anuvab Pal and Hari Kondar Bolo.

The following week we have Alice Fraser and the long

awaited return of David O'Doherty, then Tom Ballard and Nish Kumar, teaming up the following week

for what will no doubt be, as grown up a bugle, as usually happens when those two are on together.

To fill your time on this sub-episode, we'll start by going back in time to

March 2013, when the Pope, who has just, I think, been promoted in his line of work, took over,

as Pope in episode 228 of the Bugle. Here I am with John Oliver.

Music 228 of the bugle. Here I am with John Oliver. Top story this week.

Olee, o'le, o'le, o'le!

There's a poop, pooh, pooh, pooh. Well, Andy, the unspoken subtext of all the news reports that were breaking.

That's right.

They just didn't have the balls to actually say it or sing it, say it.

Andy, the papal conclave clearly didn't take too long to put

his fingers down his throat and throw up a pope. Because on Wednesday, after just two days

of discussion, white smoke billowed out of the Sistine Chapel and the Catholic Church took a bold

new step into the future by electing an old white man with reactionary views on homosexuality and birth control. But wait, this one speaks Spanish. So, holy, holy, holy, holy, oh, oh, le, oh, le. So, who do Pope, Andy?

Well, Jorge Mareo, Bagolio, he de Pope.

Or, as he is now called Pope Francis,

or Rome's most eligible bachelor.

If you like the thrill of the chase, ladies,

look no further than Pope Francis.

...