Tortle Tank: Birthday Spells, Necromantic Healers and The Potion of Last Resort

Not Another D&D Podcast

Headgum

Dungeons, Brian Murphy, Emily Axford, Jake Hurwitz, Role Playing, Improv, D&d, Dungeons And Dragons, Comedy Fiction, Games, Fiction, Caldwell Tanner, Comedy, Dragons, Leisure

4.9 • 10.8K Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Torts hear pitches about in-game birthdays, reclassifying healing spells, and a death-defying potion that could help kick your home game into high gear. Let's dive right in!

Check out the digital version of Caldwell's Instant Minion Generator here! (Thanks Reed W!)

CREDITS

Production and Editing by Trevor Lyon

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a HeadGum podcast.
0:23.4	Welcome to TORTank, everyone. Glog, glow.
0:24.5	Glug, glow.
0:25.9	That's right.
0:27.1	The turtles are in the tank.
0:28.9	We're hoping not to get lost there, but we're ready to hear your pitches and decide if it works for our eggs.
0:35.1	So let's begin.
0:36.7	Shallow hatchlings and Shellgo to Tortal Tank.
0:42.7	The show for those who think outside the box.
0:47.4	Turtle.
0:47.8	I know, I was ready.
0:48.8	I was waiting for you guys.
0:49.7	Sorry, sorry, I jumped in.
0:51.0	You stepped on it.
0:51.9	I'm Shelmally Axford.
0:53.6	With me today are Brian Surfey called Tanner and celebrity guest Jake Tertwitz.
1:00.9	Wow.
1:02.0	Trembuds has celebrity guest.
1:04.1	I'm honored.
1:05.1	Turtwitz just sounds like a nickname you would have had in high school that you would have hated.
1:09.1	Was it?
1:09.6	Shut up.
	...

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