Tricky Questions About Grief: Is There A Right Way To Do It? What To Say To People In Grief? And Can You Grieve For Things? | Sloane Crosley

10% Happier with Dan Harris

10% Media, LLC

Dan Harris, Health & Fitness, Mindfulness, Dharma, Mental Health, Meditation

4.6 • 12.2K Ratings

🗓️ 13 December 2024

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A famed author and humorist takes a deep dive into grief (with Dr. Bianca Harris as co-host).

Sloane Crosley is the author of The New York Times bestselling books Grief Is for People, How Did You Get This Number, and I Was Told There’d Be Cake. She is also the author of Look Alive Out There, Cult Classic and The Clasp, both of which have been optioned for film. She served as editor of The Best American Travel Writing series and is featured in The Library of America's 50 Funniest American Writers, The Best American Nonrequired Reading, Phillip Lopate’s The Contemporary American Essay and others. She was the inaugural columnist for The New York Times Op-Ed "Townies" series, a contributing editor at Interview Magazine, and a columnist for The Village Voice, Vanity Fair, The Independent, Black Book, Departures and The New York Observer. She is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. She has taught at Columbia University and The Yale Writers’ Workshop.

In this episode we talk about:

A series of consecutive losses that Sloane endured
The concept of cumulative grief
Sloane’s version of the five stages of grief
Her beef with acceptance
Bibliotherapy as a source of healing
And much more

Related Episodes:

The Science Of Grief: What Helps, What Doesn’t, And Why We Don’t Talk About It Enough | Cody Delistraty

How To Talk To Yourself When Things Suck | Sam Sanders

#450. The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O’Connor

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to 10% happier early and ad-free right now.
0:04.7	Join Wondery Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.
0:13.9	This is the 10% Happier podcast.
0:16.4	I'm Dan Harris.
0:29.6	Hey, everybody, how we doing?
0:34.4	Grief is a non-negotiable and often brutal fact of life.
0:38.9	In a world where everything is changing all the time, loss of people, of animals,
0:44.3	of possessions is just part of the deal. This may sound like the ultimate buzzkill, but there's a reason why Buddhists talk about this stuff all the time. First, because if you're living in denial
0:49.3	about grief and loss, you're setting yourself up for a lot of extra suffering when the inevitable
0:54.0	occurs.
0:55.0	And second, because staying in touch with this ground truth can wake you up and help you stop taking
1:00.1	shit for granted. Today, we're going to talk about some of the thornier questions as it relates
1:05.2	to the issue of grief. Is there a right way to do it? What do you say to somebody who's actively
1:10.4	grieving? What are the complications of grieving for somebody who has died by suicide?
1:16.0	Heads up, by the way, that we're going to engage in some rather frank talk on the subject of suicide in this episode.
1:21.7	And here's another question we're going to touch on. Can you grieve for lost things or is grief just for people? My guest today is the author
1:30.3	Sloan Crossley, who has a recent book called Grief is for People. It's a memoir about a series of
1:35.9	losses she endured, including a burglary at her apartment, and then the death by suicide of her
1:42.0	best friend. I have a co-interviewer for this episode. It's my wife,
1:45.8	Dr. Bianca Harris. I asked her to join because she read and loved Sloan's book, and also because,
1:52.8	as you will hear, Bianca has recently endured a pretty serious loss of her own. A little bit more
1:58.5	about Sloan Crossley. Before we dive in here, she's the author of a
	...

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