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Awesome Marriage Podcast

Understanding 'Needy' Husbands: What Do They Truly Want? | Ep. 667

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Marriage, Awesomemarriagepodcast, Marriagepodcast, Awesomemarriage, Marriageadvice, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Christianmarriage, Christianity

4.9802 Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2025

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Wives, have you felt that your husband expects too much from you? Husbands, have you checked whether your expectations are realistic? 

Expectations of our spouse can be a difficult topic, and they are a really frequent source of marriage tension. That’s why today, we want to help break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations today, so that you can experience better connection and more joy in your marriage. Don’t let expectations trip your marriage up. Listen today and learn to deal with the wants and needs in your marriage. 

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include: 

  • Unvoiced expectations in marriage can lead to tension.

  • Communication is key to understanding each other's needs.

  • Wives should express their feelings of being drained.

  • Finding time for connection is essential for couples.

  • Respect and appreciation are crucial for husbands.

  • Physical affection is important beyond sexual intimacy.

  • Teamwork in parenting strengthens the marriage bond.

  • Articulating needs can help avoid misunderstandings.

  • Navigating challenges together fosters a stronger partnership. It's crucial to express needs and expectations in marriage.

  • Vulnerability can be challenging, especially for men.

  • Regular communication opportunities can help clarify needs.

  • Listening without trying to “fix it” is essential in relationships.

  • Understanding each other's perspectives fosters compassion.

  • Setting boundaries can enhance emotional support.

  • Counseling can provide valuable tools for communication.

  • Feeling overwhelmed is a signal for change, not failure.

  • Asking good questions can open up important conversations.

  • Investing in support can rejuvenate a marriage.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here

 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: You can experience better connection and intimacy by learning how to navigate the misunderstandings around expectations.

Questions to Discuss: 

  1. Dr. Kim talked about the importance of framing your spouse in a positive way, are there places where you are negatively framing your spouse's wants or needs?

  2. What boundary could you set today so that you could better meet a need for your spouse?

  3. Are you a safe place for your spouse to voice the expectations that have for your marriage?

 

QUOTES 

  • God didn’t give your husband maternal instinct and that’s ok. He’s a man and that’s actually a good thing for your children to experience.

  • Being overwhelmed as a woman doesn't make you a bad spouse. It’s a signal that something needs to change.

  • If you’re going to frame your spouse as the problem it’s not going to go well. If you frame your spouse as your teammate then you can work together and that’s really important.

  • Love and respect are something that husbands and men are designed to need. 

  • If you’re stretching yourself way beyond your capacity then that’s where the negative things start to happen.

  • Wives, you don’t want your husband going to someone else for emotional support. You want him to go to you. 

 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage.

0:09.7

I am your podcast producer and co-host, Lindsay Few. On the show will be our host Dr. Kim Kimberly.

0:17.0

Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years.

0:22.0

His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.

0:28.4

Well, welcome to the awesome marriage podcast.

0:30.2

We are so glad that you're joining us today to talk about understanding needy husbands.

0:36.3

What do they really want? Wives, have you ever felt that your

0:39.4

husband expects too much from you? Expectations of our spouse and marriage can be a really

0:44.4

difficult topic, and they're a frequent source of marriage tension. So that's why today we

0:49.1

want to help you break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations so that you can

0:53.4

experience better connection and more

0:55.7

joy in your marriage. So today's topic really comes from a listener question we received.

1:01.6

Here's what she said. This listener said, I feel like my husband is needy. He expects a lot for me

1:07.8

and he wants all my attention on him. We have three amazing children, so I'm already drained.

1:13.4

He told me he feels lonely and that I don't pay attention to him.

1:16.8

He's also very touchy with me, which bothers me because it feels like he's only thinking of intimacy.

1:22.4

And then he gets upset that I don't respond back to him.

1:24.9

Likewise, help.

1:27.0

So, Dr. Kim, tell me, is this something that you hear about in the counseling room?

1:32.3

I think so.

1:33.2

I mean, it's kind of this dynamic of, and I think I see it a lot maybe when a couple

1:38.4

has a first child or begins having children that a husband has had his wife pretty much,

...

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