Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

People regularly send me questions on how to apply some of the concepts presented in Buddhist boot camp in real life situations. Most recently, a woman named Allison expressed concern about a scenario many of us have experienced

since March.

She's in a relationship where one of them takes the COVID-19 epidemic very seriously,

uses extreme caution, social distancing, a face mask, and avoids indoor gatherings,

while the other is, let's just say, less observant of the safety guidelines

from the Center for Disease Control.

Though her described scenario was very specific, the main question was how to have this conversation with her boyfriend so that they both feel heard, respected, and honored, without either of them going on an ego trip of superiority by talking the other person down.

These challenges can be handled using tools that help us grow as individuals

and also deepen various relationships with willing participants in our lives.

I talk a lot about vulnerability, transparency, and being really honest about what we are feeling.

But today I want to talk about what's hiding behind those feelings. We already know that anger

for example often masks our fear or pain and if we're not comfortable being

vulnerable enough to admit that we are hurt, for example,

then we get mad instead of explaining that we are disappointed or deflated.

But even if we have gotten better at explaining our anger instead of expressing it, I want to briefly touch

on the basic concept of nonviolent communication and what it's all about.

According to NBC, we each have a set of quote unquote needs and every feeling we experience

either indicates that we have an unmet need or that our needs are being met.

In addition to our basic needs for physical well-being, like sleep, water, food, broadly speaking,

NVC lists additional possible needs an individual may have, a need for connection, for example, acceptance, affection, appreciation,

and inclusion, a need for clarity, a sense of meaning or purpose, contribution, stimulation, or a need for autonomy in the form of being given a choice, freedom, independence, and space.

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