Who You Think You “Should” Be vs. Who You Are

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5 • 717 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking all about the "shoulds." They discuss how the "shoulds" or certain, specific expectations of ourselves connect to control, anxiety, and depression, battling the "shoulds" when other people are in a phase of life you envy, why comparison is so innate, what to do when others have expectations for you or of you, what it actually means to "be ready" for something, the "shoulds" of parenting, and so much more! Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 8:15 to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. Get Matched With One of Our Therapists at The Therapy Group! ShrinkChicks on Instagram Our Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Headspace: Go to Headspace.com/SHRINKCHICKS60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Pretty Litter: Go to prettylitter.com/SHRINKCHICKS to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy Prose: See the difference custom care can make with 50% off your first haircare subscription order at prose.com/shrinkchicks Mint Mobile: Shop plans at mintmobile.com/shrinkchicks Quince: Go to quince.com/shrinkchicks for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Spot & Tango: go to spotandtango.com/shrinkchicks and use code SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first order

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.
0:04.8	You know, one of my favorite things my therapist always says to me is a hero to some, villain to others and responsible to no one.
0:12.3	Right. What she means by that is that like at the end of the day, people write whatever story they want to write about you.
0:18.6	So this idea about who I should be. One, first of all, whose voice is that?
0:22.3	Where is it coming from?
0:23.4	Right.
0:23.8	For a lot of us, it's from society or our parents or our siblings or childhood friends.
0:27.7	You know, like we got this idea about where this should came from.
0:31.0	But at the end of the day, you could be, quote unquote, all the right things and people
0:36.6	could still write some story about you
0:38.3	that they want in whatever way they want that you've no control over.
0:43.1	Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks.
0:56.1	Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.
1:01.2	I'm Emily Beirley.
1:02.3	And I'm Jennifer Chakin.
1:03.4	And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.
1:07.7	We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy
1:11.8	practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us. Your session is starting, so get ready to know
1:17.5	yourself and grow yourself. Hey, Jen. Hey, Em. How you doing? Just living the dream, baby. How
1:27.3	you doing? Just living the dream, baby. How you doing?
1:28.5	I'm surviving.
1:31.3	Don't those two things mean the same thing, basically?
	...

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