Why You’re Stuck, and How to Fix It

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2024

⏱️ 78 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were stuck: unable to deal with our issues, change in useful ways, or make our lives the way we wanted them to be. It’s often not for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises, you maybe even saw a therapist…but it just didn’t help. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why this happens, and what we can do about it. Rick shares a simple framework we can approach change through before Forrest digs into the six key factors that prevent us from changing. They talk about self-acceptance and how we can relax our attachment to the current version of ourselves, before moving on to factors that affect motivation. They then discuss working with fears, becoming courageous, and leaning into a more authentic version of who we are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: What we can (and can’t) change 4:15: Taking inventory: What hasn’t worked? 9:00: Seeing what’s true 15:25: Holding onto an identity, recognizing your defenses, and experimenting 29:55: Motivating yourself, and releasing feelings of guilt 36:35: Secondary gains 46:30: Courage, boredom, and fear of the unknown 50:20: Appreciating how our environment influences us 55:40: Seeing what’s already working, and getting new inputs 1:04:00: Authentically being you 1:06:55: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today, and if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:15.0	We explore a lot of different topics on this show, but most of them revolve around the same core question.
0:21.0	How can we change in useful ways and get more out of our lives along the way? Now,
0:25.9	change is hard and most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were just
0:31.3	running in place. We were unable to make the progress that we wanted to.
0:36.0	It probably wasn't for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises,
0:40.3	maybe you even saw a therapist, but sometimes it seems like no matter what you do you find yourself back at square one, you're stuck.
0:48.0	Today we're focusing on why this happens, the key factors that stop us from changing in the ways we want to.
0:54.3	So to help me do that, I'm joined as usual by clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hansen
0:59.1	and we're going to draw on his roughly 50-ish years of working with people to help us answer this.
1:04.5	So Dad, how are you doing today?
1:06.3	What a long strange trip it's been.
1:08.7	Yeah.
1:09.2	I'm doing well and I love this topic.
1:12.0	It's been the one of the top three honors of my life probably to be able to work with all the people I've worked with over the years and they put up with me and I learned a lot from them.
1:23.0	And I'm looking forward to sharing that today.
1:27.0	So I've got seven-ish of these that I just kind of wrote out on a sheet as I was thinking about this topic.
1:33.6	I'm sure you'll add a few more maybe we'll get up to a convenient round number like 10 if we don't,
1:38.6	hey, you know, the algorithm gods will have to smile on us anyways. And I wanted to start this
1:43.8	episode with what I think is like an important disclaimer for everything we're
1:47.2	going to talk about today. Some people have significant factors in their life
1:51.2	that just limit the amount of changes they have access to.
	...

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