The Birch Show.

If your history teacher did her job, you'd probably realize that history is just a lot of salacious gossip.

And now with my segment called Yield Gossip, I'm going to teach you all about how a 19th century judge's obsession with a famous actress shaped history in Southwest Texas.

Hear ye, hear ye.

Come forth, all Instagram betties and crypto bros for the most salacious gossip in the whole village.

Abby's done the work to bring you the old gossip.

You've probably never heard of a guy named Judge Roy Bean

because calling him a judge is sort of like calling Katie Perry an astronaut.

However, what this man lacked for in qualifications,

he made up for in vibes.

Because Judge Roy Bean made Judge Judy look like a shrinking violet.

So today we're in 19th century Lanktree, Texas. And like all men who think

too highly of themselves, Judge Roy Bean had a nickname for himself. He gave himself the title,

the law list of the Picos, which sounds super cool until you realize the only thing he was

qualified to judge were his own shady decisions now don't

get it twisted this guy wasn't appointed as judge by some law official he literally woke up one day

and was like yeah i think i'll be judge and then the entire town of langtree texas did the equivalent

of thumbs uping an eye message and just went along with it so if if Judge Roy Bean is the king of the law in Langtree, Texas, his castle is his saloon.

He named it the Jersey Lily after a British actress that he was so obsessed with,

but he had never met before.

It's as if I opened up a club called the Harry Styles and then

walked around telling people I named it after my boyfriend. And let me tell you, Langtree, Texas

...