A note to our listeners, this episode contains mention of suicide.

That's a song called Fix Me. I know you'll try. That's a song called Fix Me from the band Fidlar off their new album Surviving the Dream.

I think it's important to note that both the song title Fix Me and the band Fidlar are written in all caps,

which I think you can tell by the music.

It's DePreshmode. I'm John Moe.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm in the bathroom and I'm crying.

I don't know why I keep on lying. I'm in the bathroom and I'm crying. I don't know why I keep on lying.

I'm in the ocean and I'm surfing.

I don't know how to keep on living, but I keep trying.

I'm in my...

Bidlar from Los Angeles is known for short, fast, intense songs.

They've been together since 2009. Put out four albums, counting the new one.

They've toured a lot playing intense live shows for intense, dedicated fans.

They've appeared on Jimmy Fallon, on Conan, a bunch of places.

The voice you heard there was lead singer and guitarist Zach Carper. And if it

sounds like Zach has been going through some stuff, well yeah, he has. You and he have come to the

right show. Fidlar's name is an acronym. Stands for fuck it dog, life's a risk. And Zach Carper

has definitely engaged in risky behavior with his health

over the years, using a wide range of substances, including heroin, methamphetamine, crack. He's

been to rehab. He's gotten cleaned up and been in recovery. His relationship to substances now

is a little more, I guess, in the gray area. He'll talk about that

...