Hi friends this week we're talking about some things I've learned about the numbness I've been dealing with and if you deal with overwhelm or feeling numb and just like you don't really care about life at all this week's episode is going to help you.

I've learned a couple of things this week, but I learned that numbness helps you deal with

overwhelm. And I also learned how overwhelm is an excuse a lot of the times, but we're going to get there. The first thing I want to talk about is I've just been doing and living life by what I feel guided to do.

And I felt guided to all of a sudden just get up and run to New York.

And I've been living in New York for the past three weeks.

Just staying at different hotels,

popping around at different areas, doing different things.

Just having a life of chaos instability is the only thing I resonated with and I realized why.

My little life I had in LA with a stable consistent apartment and everything kind of being predictable and like everything just

being stable I didn't resonate with it I didn't like it like it started to make me

feel like I was going insane. And it's because my internal and the way I've been feeling

and everything inside of me has been the opposite. Like every single day I have felt completely different.

I deal with a lot internally and my internal world was such

chaos. It was not stable. It was not consistent. So having a reality and an external that was stable consistent and all the opposite of how I felt inside felt like a

gaslight and that's one of the worst things in my opinion is when you're external and your internal don't match so I didn't

know why I felt guided to just run away and have my life be chaos but I've been

liking it where is my phone because it keeps fucking vibrating. All right, phone is fine.

We're good.

Realization was internal external didn't match.

And I felt so much more relief being here in my life being chaos and everything kind of like being all

opposite of what it was because it matches how I actually feel and having my

internal kind of be reflected on my external has made it feel easier to deal with and manage and I don't feel so crazy when I look around like when I was in LA I would look around and see stability and like really no reason for me to be

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