Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.

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decades of experience and the author of three New York Times bestselling parenting books takes your questions.

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Episode 119. How do I get my son to stop picking on his little sister?

It's that time of year where I am really done with the carpools. I'm ready for summer. I'm ready to be sitting on the beach somewhere. I'm ready for vacation. It's time. It's time. You know, in schools, they call this 100 days of May, just because it

just goes on and on and on. I hear you arena. That's so well said. Well, we decided to tackle the

issue of sibling rivalry. Why do they happen? What's going on here? Especially before we get into the summer months, Lisa,

when they're going to be around each other all the time. They are and it can get spicy. Rina, it can

get spicy. So we got this great letter. It says, Dear Dr. Lisa, my 13-year-old son is a really great kid,

but he's just mean to his 11-year-old sister. We don't allow name-calling in her house,

but he barks answers at her when she asks a question, aggressively corrects her when she makes a

mistake, and is constantly and obviously annoyed by her mere presence. To make matters worse,

my daughter looks up to her brother and tends to second his opinions, which drives him crazy.

I've tried to talk to him, but he says,

we just don't know how much she annoys him on purpose when we're not looking. I know that 11-year-old

girls can be annoying, and I know he's not 100% without blame, but I don't see what he sees,

and I'd like for him to be a little more patient and kinder to her. Please help.

So what's going on here, Lisa? Why do they do it?

You know, I feel like this letter we could call it the perfect storm. It just describes a dynamic that is, I think, very common in households and sort of the collision of developmental moments that is not always pretty. Let's start with 13. You know that I've often

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