This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

Encore episode 121, should I bribe my kid? I know it can be hard to get your kids to be self-starters.

So how do we motivate kids to do the things that they don't really want to do?

In this episode, Dr. Lisa explains that there are times in parenting when offering encouragement and reminders just

doesn't work. So can bribing your kid really be a winning strategy for things like getting

better grades? Well, we discuss motivation and rewards. What really works to get kids motivated?

This is an encore episode that originally ran at the beginning of 2022 during the pandemic.

What age do your kids actually do things that you don't have to keep nagging them over and over and over again to do?

35.

I sure feels that way.

It can't feel the way.

You know, actually, Rina, what interests me here, what I think of when you ask that question,

is actually how there's a real shift.

And for a lot of parents, it feels like overnight in terms of how nagging goes down with your kids.

So when your kids are little, you know, pre-adolescent, I think what a lot of people find,

I certainly find, is if you say, you know, you need to clean your room, you need to do this thing,

they may, you know, grumble about it, but if you lean on them or if you get mad, they will do it.

...