124: Why Healthy Can Feel Boring: Exploring Secure Relationships

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Mental Health, Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 4.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2025

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ever found yourself attracted to chaos in relationships while feeling "meh" about someone who's actually good for you? In this Valentine's Day special, Sabrina dives deep into why we often mistake drama for passion and peace for boredom. She shares personal stories, including her own journey from choosing unavailable partners to embracing healthy love, and explains the neuroscience behind why stable relationships can feel uncomfortably "boring" at first.

Key Topics:

Why our brains are wired to crave relationship chaos
The difference between settling and choosing healthy love
How to stop self-sabotaging when you meet someone stable
The truth about "boring" relationships vs. toxic excitement
Practical tools for embracing and trusting healthy love

Featured Insights:

Dr. Jack Panksepp's research on why toxic love feels exciting
Dr. Stan Tatkin's work on mistaking chaos for chemistry
Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's theory on building deeper relationships

Actionable Tools:

The Alignment & Adventure Matrix for assessing relationships
Three questions to ask when feeling uneasy in healthy relationships
Journaling prompts for rewiring your brain for safety

Whether you're single or coupled up this Valentine's Day, this episode provides the framework you need to start receiving the secure, healthy love you deserve.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar Show.
0:06.4	My name is Sabrina Zohar and I am your host.
0:09.5	Happy Valentine's Day, babes.
0:11.4	Whether you're single, whether you're in a relationship, I don't care.
0:14.8	I love you.
0:15.5	Happy Valentine's Day.
0:16.9	And guys, the reason I specifically chose today's episode is because of the day, right? And I'm creating these like mini-series, whether you guys even realize it or not, it's more for me, of building, right?
0:25.3	I want to give you guys foundations and building blocks so that you come back every week.
0:28.6	And it's not just like these random thorough post up against the wall and see what sticks.
0:31.7	It's like we're actually starting to give you the tools, make progress, and create new neural pathways and give you different studies and different
0:37.5	terminology. So that's my fucking passion, and that's what I'm excited about moving forward.
0:41.8	So today's episode is, why does healthy equal boring and how to prepare yourself to start
0:46.5	receiving the true, healthy, secure love that you deserve? I get it. We've all been there,
0:51.6	and I want to debunk everything. And like I said, we're building. Like last week we talked about, do we attach or do we connect? Now that we have some different
0:58.3	awarenesses, we're going to start to look at, okay, how do I connect in a deeper level and really
1:02.0	start to prep myself to receive the love I do fucking deserve. Guys, as always, if you need anything,
1:07.3	please don't forget everything's in Lincoln Show Notes. You can join one of the courses. If you're going through a breakup, me and Britt Frank got you.
1:12.6	You need the nervous system.
1:13.5	You're going to need help with the texting.
1:14.7	You're feeling anxious.
1:15.4	You don't know what's going on in the early stages of dating.
1:17.3	Masha and I got you. understand your patterns and really get back out there, do the inner child work, whatever you
	...

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