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The Sabrina Zohar Show

127: How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty or Pushing People Away with Terri Cole

The Sabrina Zohar Show

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Mental Health, Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.94.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 March 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome back, babes! In today’s episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, I’m joined by the one and only Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, author of Boundary Boss, and expert on all things boundaries, people-pleasing, and codependency.

We’re breaking down what boundaries actually are (and what they aren’t), why so many people get them wrong, and how to set them without guilt. Terri also shares her personal journey of leaving the entertainment industry to follow her passion for psychology, plus practical tools to help you stop self-abandoning, start advocating for yourself, and build stronger, healthier relationships.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ The #1 reason people struggle with boundaries (Hint: It starts in childhood)
✅ The difference between a boundary, a preference, and an ultimatum – and how to know which one you’re setting
✅ Why people-pleasing isn’t “nice” – it’s dishonest (and how to stop)
✅ How to handle the guilt that comes with setting boundaries – and why it’s actually a sign of growth
✅ What to do when someone says, “You’ve changed” (spoiler: it’s a good thing)
✅ The truth about texting, boundaries, and dating expectations – why demanding daily texts is not a boundary, it’s control
✅ How to know if your standards are “too high” or if you’re avoiding intimacy
✅ The red flags of high-functioning codependency and how to break the cycle

Get Terri's Book: Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
Take Terri's boundaries quiz

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Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, hello, hello.

0:02.5

Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show.

0:04.6

My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host.

0:07.8

Welcome back, babies.

0:10.0

Happy Friday, y'all, or happy whatever day it is when you're listening to this.

0:13.3

I'm so stoked to be here with you guys.

0:15.4

Today, we have the one and only Terry Cole.

0:18.0

She is fucking nominal.

0:20.0

I am so obsessed with her in her New York

0:21.4

energy. And we talk about boundaries. All things, boundaries, the importance of them, what they're

0:26.5

not, how to set them, and just ways to show up as authentically as you possibly can. So babes,

0:32.1

if you need anything, as always, everything will be linked to the show notes. You want to join

0:35.0

a course. Please don't forget to rate review the show, buy some merch, whatever you need. It's available. But as always, please speak

0:41.1

with kindness when we do leave a review. I read them all and I appreciate them all and I'm grateful

0:45.3

for you all. And I'm just so fucking stoked to be here with you guys. And as always, thank you for

0:50.1

letting me show up as me and you guys showing up as you. It really means the world. So,

0:54.7

without further ado, let's get right on into it, shall we? Well, hello, Terry. Welcome to the podcast.

0:59.8

I'm so excited to have you. Well, hello again. How are you? Good. We were just doing your show,

1:06.6

so guys, go listen to Terry's podcast as well. But I am really fucking excited to have you today because

1:12.1

you are one, just amazing as a human. But you're also so knowledgeable and interesting. And you have such a

1:19.4

cool story, just even about you and like your marriage and your partner and just how you do what you do.

1:23.8

So if we could, could you please just tell us a little bit about you, how you got started, who you are. And like, what fuels you every day? What are your passions with what you do. So if we could, could you please just tell us a little bit about you, how you got

...

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